Second Chances
by JunebugPancakes
Summary: It's been 9 years since the events of Unforeseen Consequences and Dipper Pines has moved on. Or at least he thought he had. Actually, who was he fooling? Dipper Pines never did get over that breakup. ...But neither did Bill. [BillDip, Dipifica]
1. Prologue

This was their last hope.

"Triangulum, entangulum."

They were desperate.

"Veneforis dominus ventium."

There was no other way.

"Veneforis venetisarium."

And _he_ couldn't know about it.

Pacifica was thrown down to her knees as a powerful magic influence exploded throughout her. Her nails raked against the hardwood floors, eyes rolling back in her head. From her lips flowed a stream of ciphers twisted into nonsense. Her body tensed and shook. From the her head opened a trapdoor - a light shone from it and out popped a little yellow triangle with a fancy top hat and bow tie.

"Hoo-wee, this place is fan- _cy_! Talk about living the high life of luxury," Bill sang as he stair-stepped out into the realm of reality, a red carpet path forming at his feet. The mock trap door closed behind him and Pacifica was unscathed as though it had never been there. Bill turned to look at her with a smile bright in his eye. He tipped his top hat to her and leaned forward on his cane in the air. "Well well well, another Northwest wants to make a deal with me; I can't say I'm surprised."

"Don't call me that! That's not my name anymore, alright?" she quickly corrected, crossing her arms and glaring at the demon.

"Sorry, sweetheart, I wouldn't want to offend! How 'bout Llama then?" Bill generated the cipher wheel around himself and motioned to the image of a llama. "That _is_ your symbol, you know."

"Whatever. I don't care what you call me, but I refuse to be Northwest anymore."

"You got it, moneybags! Llama it is. And you can call me Bill Cipher. So," he reclined backwards and twirled his hand, "let me guess: ever since daddy cut you off of money you've had a hard time adjusting and you want _me_ to make you rich beyond you wildest-"

"Not in the least," Pacifica interrupted. "I don't care about any of that, alright? I'm better than that."

"Wow, you're better than a lot of humans I meet! Can't say I'm not used to the ol' financial debt sob story, 'specially for brats your age. Actually, remind me - how old are you again, exactly, sweetheart?"

"Twenty one."

"Yep, that does seem about right. But if you don't want money, what is it then?" he asked, moving closer to hover eye-level with her face. He had a sickening, expectant amusement written all over his face. "What could a still-rich, influential, and - might I add - particularly beautiful young lady such as yourself want from a demon like me? For that matter, can I ask how exactly you managed to learn my summoning ritual if daddy disowned you?" he asked in a charming voice, wrought with an sticky undertone of deviousness.

"I have connections, friends in low places."

"So low they're willing to..." Bill gestured to his alter where the candles and image (of Pacifica herself, eyes crossed out as per tradition) sat in a white chalk circle.

"Look, if you're just going to be more trouble than it's worth-"

"Oh I assure you I'm trouble, sweetheart," he chuckled, "but I can guarantee," he leaned back, twirling his cane between his midnight black fingers, " _it's worth it_."

Pacifica grimaced, shifting her weight from one leg to the other and flipping her long, blonde hair back behind her.

"I found out the other day that I'm infertile. And... I want to have a daughter with my husband. I don't want him to know I can't have his baby because it would just break his heart, so adoption is out of the question."

"Still used to that childhood niche of carrying on the family name, huh?" he said, pointing the end of his cane at her.

"That's why I want a daughter. I wanna get as far away from Northwest as possible."

"I don't see why. Northwests are rich and powerful liars and cheaters. Can't say I don't have respect for those kinds of meatbags," said Bill, examining his make-believe nails.

"Are you gonna help me or not, Bill Ciphen?"

"Ci- _pher_. Not that it matters, I guess, it's not exactly my real name; but you and your sad species wouldn't be able to tolerate hearing that. No no no, you'd probably collapse onto the-"

"Final offer, demon, or I'll summon someone else."

"Alright, alright, sheesh. But you can't get something for nothing, you know. What's in it for me?"

"Ugh, I don't know, what do demons like? Souls or whatever?"

Bill fell silent. He stared deadpan at her with his brow furrowed and light dimmed, arms dropped and dangling. A pain he knew all too well pulled at him, tugged and tore and demanded to be felt. And he felt it. Loud and clear. And the more he tried to avoid it and pretend it wasn't there, the louder it got.

He responded in low, "Not me."

"Well then what do you want? I'll give you anything. I've got it all, anyway," Pacifica muttered, casting her eyes to the ground.

"Just give me your happiest memory and we'll call it even."

"Why would you care about my happiest memory?"

"I'm a demon of the mind, tootz, each fond memory I get increases my power and the more power I have... let's just say I have a few enemies who need to pay their dues. Plus, I get a kick out of seeing your kind miserable and suffering, haha!" Pacifica bit her cheek and rolled her eyes, turning her attention to the wall beside them - so interesting.

"Fine, but I've heard about you. I'm not giving you anything until my baby is born alive and healthy and _human_!"

"You've got good connections, Llama, I will say that." Bill ignited his hand in cerulean tongues of flame and extended his hand to her. "Have we got a deal?" Pacifica hesitated and glanced behind herself at the staircase leading up to the second floor where her husband was sound asleep in their bedroom. She clutched her lower belly with a frown, reminding herself that this was how it had to be, and took a deep breath before holding her hand out to take Bill's.

"Deal," they shook. The flames traveled up the young woman's arm and engulfed her body, curling into a fireball at her womb and phasing into her body where she then shone with an inner light for a second before it dissipated. Bill had granted her with the gift of fertility.

"Great!" Bill rejoiced. He swung his arms showily and tipped his hat to her once more. "I'll be back in nine months exactly to see how human kind will continue to suffer and to collect my payment." Bill spawned a briefcase in his free hand and raised his cane in the other to bid her farewell. "So long, Llama! Enjoy fueling the fire to this miserable race!" He opened another dimensional door in mid-air and left her to her doings, tutting "And you were lucky enough to be blessed with the inability, so sad to see you throwing that away. What a pity!" as he went.

Breathing a sigh of relief that that was over, Pacifica moved to clean up the alter and dispose of the grafitied picture of herself so that her husband wouldn't see. When that was done, she rubbed her belly with a weak smile, got a drink of water, and headed up to bed.


	2. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

Dipper Pines never did get over that break up.

Day by day since that fateful summer, he drifted aimlessly though life without purpose. His daily routine would be as follows: wake up (if applicable), skip breakfast, go to school, skip lunch, come home, have a snack force-fed to him by his parents, talk to Bill until dark, attempt to sleep. 'Talking to Bill' was really just Dipper talking to the drawings on the wall he'd done in his own blood the first night he'd come home from Gravity Falls after everything had went down. All down his arms were triangular scars etched in with a steak knife he lifted from the kitchen from that particular incident. But it didn't stop there either. Above his bed, all over his walls, in his drawers, on his nightstand, on his door, on his window - there was hardly an inch of his bedroom that wasn't grafitied with Bill's image. Whether it was a drawing or painting done on paper or it was directly embedded on the object itself, Bill had entirely apocalypsed Dipper's room. He would talk to the drawings at night when he couldn't sleep or when he woke up from a bad dream. Hours would pass and he wouldn't move an inch from one spot where he talked to the images. He never knew for sure, but he guessed - and guessed correctly - that Bill had severed all omniscient ties to him; Bill never ever watched him back. It never worked, but it made him feel a little better.

For nine long years he suffered silently in isolation, pushing everyone he cared about away. He didn't want anyone to see him like this. He'd become a hollow shell of his former self. Even Mabel hardly ever got more than a word with him anymore. They saw each other on the bus ride home and very rarely would she get a glimpse of the endangered creature at dinner time when he came downstairs, forced by their parents to at least sit with them. What he didn't know was that the pain he was going through was as clear as the cloudless summer sky; his eyes were permanently darkened from lack of sleep, he was thin and frail, unable to eat and hold food down very often, and his personal hygiene had fallen into despair.

There were times, though, when he did make a valiant effort to look presentable. These times were usually when he found someone to try to impress. For a while, Mabel kept trying to set him up on dates with girls from their school and Dipper would clean himself up to look as good as possible for dates, but not many called him back after the fact. The girls that did typically lasted all of two weeks, or perhaps two months if Dipper tried extra hard, before he broke off with them. It wasn't the same. It would never be the same. Nobody could ever take Bill's place.

Except for one person: Pacifica Northwest.

...

Today was the second most wonderful day in Dipper's life. Nothing had brought the light back to his eyes since the breakup like staring down at his newborn daughter in his wife's arms did. Pudgy little cheeks, ten twinkly toes, a thin layer of silky blonde hair - she was so perfect.

"She looks like you," Pacifica said, brushing her thumb across the baby's cheek.

"What? No way, she looks just like you!"

"Her hair will darken, but she's got your face. Just look at that little pink nose! She didn't get that from me."

Dipper reached out to touch the baby's toes, counting them quietly but audibly to himself, "one little Waddles, two little Waddles, three little Waddles..." Pacifica smiled wide at his gesture. She mirrored his action with the baby's fingers before reaching up to kiss her husband. Nothing could ruin this day, this moment, when the universe had graced them with this tiny bit of heaven.

But where there was heaven, hell was brooding nearby.

With thunder's powerful crack, the hospital room began draining of colour. As grey tones raced along the walls, Dipper immediately dropped to the floor and clamped his knees to his chest. His breath locked in his chest in a painful tightness but he couldn't release it. Every nerve in his body went numb, tingling like pins and needles at his skin.

"Dipper!" Pacifica shouted with worry. She reached out a hand to help him up in vein as he quickly scooted backwards until his back hit the corner of the room.

"This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening," he mumbled as he rocked himself back and forth. Tears welled in his eyes as he watched time freeze to a stop. Out of the wall clock to the side of Pacifica's bed came a hauntingly familiar laugh. The hands on the clock morphed into literal hands. Tiny black hands. And the pin in the middle became a bright white eclipse with a thin, narrow slit inching down into focus.

" _Time_ to pay up, Llama!" it said, the circular shape of the frame molding into a triangle. A _kaching_ noise echoed off the walls; a little black top hat popped out the top and a matching bow tie fabricated under the eye.

"I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming. Wake up, wake up!" Dipper panicked, pinching his wrists and slapping himself across the face. His breathing resumed, fast and erratic; his head grew light and vision clouded with a staticy haze.

"Darlin', I'm no dream. I'm your worst night...mare..." Bill trailed off once he caught sight of the quivering pile of flesh and hair crouched up in the far corner. His cheerful demeanor languished, eye falling to glare and arms crossing . He hadn't payed mind to the voice, he heard too many of them each day to learn any different. Tears began streaming down Dipper's cheeks.

"Bill!" Pacifica chimed in, catching the demon off guard. Bill shifted his attention toward her, not moving his body at all. "Uh - I mean, what are you doing here?" She pretended to not know of him so that Dipper wouldn't find out about their deal. Bill did not respond and instead continued to stare down the man in the corner with a glint of pure hatred burning in his one eye.

"Go away, go away, go away!" Dipper sobbed and rocked harder, biting the skin of his lip nearly clean through.

"Wish I could, Pine Tree, but I'm here on business," Bill grumbled, rolling his eye.

"Wait, you two know each other?" Pacifica questioned, looking between her husband and the demon.

"Oh yeah, we do - don't we, Pine Tree?" Bill scoffed and turned away from him to face Pacifica. "He's just some fleshbag I _used..._ " Bill shot a venomous glare at Dipper "...to know." Dipper slowly unclamped his hands from his head and glanced up at Bill, gasping deep breaths as he did. Tears flowed even harder down his face once he caught sight of him. His glowing golden light, his midnight black features, his long lashes... he hadn't aged a day. He was so dashing.

A small sob escaped Dipper's lips and his hands clenched tight in his hair. Why was he so handsome? Why did he have such a knotted rope around his neck, ready to hang him to death from it? He sobbed more, breathing becoming even more rapid.

"You keep that up, Pine Tree, and you'll faint. So I recommend you keep it up or I'll do it for you." Dipper didn't stop. He didn't hear him; every word in his ears sounded like a static burst. Without batting his eye, Bill snapped his fingers and Dipper dropped, passed out in the floor forced into a slumber.

"Leave him alone! Can't you see he's having a panic attack?"

"I see everything, tootz, but if there's one thing I wish I couldn't see it's him." Bill looked down to the infant sleeping soundly in Pacifica's arms, grimacing at the sight and making a barfing noise. "Don't tell me that's _his_ abomination. Yeesh, humans are even more hideous in their larval stage." Pacifica glared up at him, an unsolicited blush coming to her cheeks. "Well, it's what you asked for, isn't it? An ugly human brat, alive and thriving like a weed." Bill brought back his more cheerful side and tapped a finger to his face just below his eye. "Hm, you should name it a human name... like Pants!"

"What? Absolutely not! Her name is-"

Bill had approached the child, hovering just over top of it and pressed both hands to either side of his face with a bright twinkle in his eye, cooing "Pants" at the small life. The woman pulled her baby away and pushed at Bill with one hand.

"Her name is Atlantica Tyreese Pines."

"That's a stupid name, I like Pants better."

"Believe it or not, I couldn't care less what you think. This is Dipper's and my baby." Pacifica looked fondly down at her daughter and caressed her head. When she looked back up, Bill had generated the Cipher wheel around himself and was making a space in it for the image of a pair of pants to fit in. "Hey!" she snapped at him, causing him to break his focus and shatter the manifested image around him. He looked offended, crossing his arms and grumping at her. "Fix Dipper. Whatever you did to him, undo it."

"Just sleeping, Llama, he'll wake up when I leave." He shrugged. There was a moment of silence where Pacifica looked down to her now stirred child and Bill's attention flicked to the K.O.'d young adult in the corner. He pondered for a moment his next move. And the next. And the next. And the next...

With the wave of his hand, time had frozen around Pacifica and her daughter as well so that only Bill was conscious in the moment. He moved over to Dipper and stood, grounded, in front of him with an investigative, wide-eyed stare. He held his arms out at his sides and strutted around the other, taking a full-body examine of his state. He was taller but still just as thin and scrawny. Bill took hold of Dipper's chin and turned his head sideways to face him. His eyes were as dark as coal like that of an insomniac - Bill shivered. Insomniacs skeeved him out for obvious reasons, but he tried to work with what he was given. Dipper's face was pale and lackluster, and a little more gaunt than he remembered it. Bill huffed and dropped his head roughly.

For a while he stood there silently, staring him down with disapproval.

But then...

He smiled.

Bill locked his hands together at his front, holding one leg up behind him like a crushing school girl, and a twinkle came to his eye. He snapped his fingers again and the young man came to.

"Pine Tree," Bill said with a now-neutral expression. Dipper groaned and rubbed his head, slowly moving his gaze up to the demon in front of him and waiting for his double-vision to subside. He frowned, once it did, and cast his eyes away.

"Bill," he replied plainly, as if waiting for his life to be stripped from him.

"Hey, hey, don't give me that. I thought you'd be happy to see me!"

Dipper didn't respond. How could he be happy to see him when he was the cause for nine years of suffering? How could he be happy to see him when he just suffered a panic attack inflicted by his surprise visit after all that time? How could he be happy to see him when all he could think about was 'what if'? How could he be happy to see him when he was so... happy to see him? It hurt.

"Kid, listen, I know it's been a while-"

"Nine years," Dipper interjected, knitting his brows at Bill's insolence.

"-but the past is in the past. I needed some time to get over it, you dig?" Bill continued, reclining back into the air and crossing his legs, examining his pretend fingernails.

Dipper didn't respond. He sat up, cross-legged, and listened begrudgingly yet attentively to the demon hovering in front of him. Bill looked back at him, a somewhat sullen expression crossing his face, and his light dimmed.

"I've missed you."

"Have you even once checked in on me?"

"I'm always watching you, Dipper." Bill lit up brighter and extended his arms out, "I'm your guardian angle!"

"Stop," Dipper said coldly. Enough of his games - acting like this was a light subject. "It's not funny."

"I disagree, I think it's hilarious."

"Yeah, well, you think everything is a game."

"Are you forgetting which one of us pretended to give a damn about the other to gain knowledge to their dumb little mysteries?"

"Bill, I _never_ pretended to care about you!" Dipper cut, raising his voice higher than he should. He took a breath and sat back on his feet. "You were my everything," he mumbled quieter.

"Back at ya, kid," Bill admitted as well. He spawned his cane and leaned an elbow on it. "It's been a long time since I've had anyone to confide in, as you can imagine." Dipper was silent, but his face spoke volumes. Bill could see the regret in his eyes, his brows came unknit and his mouth dropped open. "And I've gotta be honest with you, Dipper, I miss that. A lot."

"Bill, I-"

"I'm not saying I want you back," Bill quickly continued, pointing the end of his cane at him. Dipper bit his tongue. "But how does it sound to you that we try to put all this behind us? I could drop by when I have some free time or you could give me a call when you're feeling..." he paused, stopping his parading around and glancing back with a devious face, "lonely!"

"I don't know, Bill. Now that my daughter is here, I don't think I'm going to have a lot of free time."

"Hey, if you're over me, you're over me. I'm only offering a little company from time to time."

"I'm not going to fall for that, Bill, I'm married."

"Geez, your mind is always in the gutter! I'm not interested in you like that anymore, Pine Tree. Are we in the same dimension where two exes can interact without having intercourse?"

"Please just- don't call it that. And yes we are, but..."

"But?"

Dipper sighed, "Just as friends?"

"Friends to the bitter end!" Bill extended his hand, blooming with cerulean flames. He hastily retracted it and shook the fires out. "Whoops sorry. Force of habit," he laughed before holding his normal hand out again. Dipper took a breath, looking over to Pacifica and his daughter and then back to Bill. He felt a heavy weight settle on his chest. As much as his logic was fighting it, his heart won the war. It could not shut Bill Cipher out.

He took Bill's hand with a weak smile and blush. Bill returned the expression with a delighted one of his own. Dipper used his other hand to rub the back of his head. He couldn't deny that he was happy to finally make up with the demon. They were just going to be friends - someone to confide to for each other.

What could go wrong?


	3. Who Am I to Disagree

After Pacifica's parents cut her off and disowned her, the heiress was still left with a sizable chunk of money in her name for college funds. With her and Dipper's money combined, they were able to afford a decently sized yet average home back in Piedmont, California. With the help of the Pines twins' parents, there was enough to put Dipper - and only Dipper - through four years of college. Any extra they had was put towards making their house feel a little more like home, which, in Pacifica's eyes, meant the height of luxury.

Pacifica stared out the window, watching trees speed by as they drove home from the hospital. Atlantica was asleep in the back seat, nested warmly in a carrier and blankets. Neither of them had said a word to each other since they pulled out of the hospital parking lot. Dipper's fingers tapped nervously on the steering wheel, he chewed his bottom lip idly and kept on hyper alert for any road hazards like he was afraid he might get lost in a daydream and crash with their newborn daughter in the back. The young woman watched her husband from the corners of her eyes, feeling guilty for the way he'd broken down two days before. She took a deep breath, holding the air in her chest for a moment, and then released a sigh.

"I made a deal with Bill," she admitted slowly. The whole car jerked as Dipper braked unnecessarily. The sound of Bill's name had stuck him like a needle. He took a few slow breaths and tried to relax his muscles.

"I-I'm sorry, what was that about Bill?" he asked in a small voice.

"Nine months ago I made a deal with him so that I could have your baby. I... I never wanted you to find out, but I didn't expect him to show up in the hospital room."

"Oh."

There was a few long seconds of silence.

"Is that seriously all you have to say on the matter?" she asked, a bit irritated.

"I'm sorry, Pacifica, I would rather not talk about Bill if we can help it. I mean, I'm not upset at you if that's what you were worried about." He craned his neck around to check if the coast was clear for him to make a turn. "I just... I can't talk about it."

"I understand," she frowned and sighed, "but I have to ask: is this about those scars on your arms?"

Dipper stomped the breaks, nearly throwing them all through the windshield. The car behind them also screeched to a halt and blew their horn at them as they quickly sped around them and shouted swears. Dipper swallowed hard and put his face in his hands, a shaky breath drawn from his chest.

"Please, please, Pacifica. I can't talk about it. I'm sorry, I can't. I just- I can't," he dry sobbed into his hands.

"Maybe I should drive," she offered, voice weak with worry. She put a hand on her husband's shoulder and rubbed reassuringly. Dipper jumped slightly at her touch. After a moment, he took a deep breath and straightened up again, gripping the wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white.

"No, no, I can... I'm okay, I can do it." His face twisted with anxiety, he glanced around and checked all his mirrors before carefully putting the car in motion again. "It's just a few more blocks," he said quietly, cringing a bit at the sight of a yield sign.

The atmosphere had been made tense and the lot of them were silent the rest of the way home.

...

That night, Mabel called. Dipper held the phone in his hand, watching the little phone icon dance beside his sister's name while it played 'Don't Start Unbelieving'. He grimaced.

Dipper and Mabel had grown apart, since that summer. After the breakup, Dipper became struck with a paranoia that Bill would exact his revenge by hurting Mabel since she had no protection like he'd wanted. For a long time he had wanted to train himself up, get in shape and attempt to look less 'whimpy' so he could summon Bartemaeus himself, but depression foiled that plan before it even began.

Ever since then, he and Mabel only ever said what was necessary to each other. Bus rides home were awkward, graduation was a nightmare when Mabel read an extensive speech about her brother and he said barely a word about her in his speech, birthdays were spent apart, and on the day of his wedding, Mabel was the only family left uninvited; but she came anyway. Some time after that, she finally started leaving him alone and he hadn't heard from her in about a year and a half. To get a call from her now was just nauseating.

Finally, the phone quit ringing and Dipper let out a sigh of relief. He looked down at Atlantica asleep in his other arm and smiled. Babies had a way of keeping their parents up at night. It was nearly three a.m. and she had been crying to be changed but wouldn't go back to sleep unless Dipper continued holding her.

"Okay, since you won't pick up, I'm coming in through the window."

Dipper's eyes snapped up to the window next to them to see Mabel standing there in the garden in the pitch black night. She looked a mixture of upset and anxious. How long had she been there?

"Mabel, what are you doing here?" he shouted in a whisper so he wouldn't wake his daughter. Mabel was already halfway in by the time he registered what she was doing. "You're gonna wake the baby, at least keep it down!"

Mabel hit the floor with a thud, landing on her head and toppling over onto her back. She rubbed her head with her teeth grit.

"Ow, rough landing," she groaned as she got to feet.

"Mabel!"

"Dipper, I know you don't want me around, I'm not stupid okay. But this time I really need you!"

"It's three in the morning and my newborn daughter is trying to sleep, couldn't you have waited until later?" he ground out as he tucked Atlantica back into her crib.

"No! I can't do this anymore, bro-bro, Edwin is driving me insane!" Dipper crossed his arms and glared at her.

"Well let's at _least_ take this out of the nursery," he growled, gesturing to the door. Mabel exited the room without skipping a beat and Dipper followed behind her, shutting the door behind them. The pair headed across the hallway and into the sitting room to continue their surprise visit.

"I've put up with this for a long time," she continued, pacing in front of the fireplace, "and it was alright, but a few months ago Mom and Dad saw on Facebook that you and Pacifica were expecting and ever since then _he_ has been hounding me to have a baby."

"And this is a problem because...?"

"I don't _want_ a baby, Dipper! At least not with him. He's so possessive and - you know, last week he slashed this dude's tires just because he saw me talking to him outside of the store? I _work_ with this guy, Dipper! We were talking about if he could cover my shift for this evening so I could come beg you to help me."

"Alright, but I don't understand why you don't just call the cops. Why do you have to pester me about it?" Mabel took a deep breath, her fists clenched and shaking with anger.

"Be _cause_ , I have tried the cops. And everything else under the sun, but I think this has to do with that love potion you had him take when we were kids, remember?" For a few moments, Dipper was silent. He cast his eyes away to the ground and shook his head.

"I try not to think about that summer. I've sorta blocked it out," he said in a low voice.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Mabel groaned loudly. She waved her hands beside her face and mocked him. "'Wah, Bill Cipher the triangle guy traumatized me and I can't take life anymore!'" Dipper's entire body tensed and he jerked his head back up, gaping at her in offended shock. "What even happened between you two anyway? All this time and you've never told me, but I'm supposed to take you seriously about it. Come on, bro, what happened that could separate _us_?"

"You wanna know what happened?" he snarled, throwing his arms down and clenching his fists. He marched up to Mabel and pointed an angry finger at her. "While _you_ were too focused on your vampire boyfriend, I had my heart broken by Bill! You joked about it, but you didn't even realize that we were actually sort of together. I can't even tell my _wife_ about that but you just won't leave it alone!" He turned his back and paced away from her, continuing to rant, "All that love potion biz was thanks to Bill. When your plan for him to push you down the stairs failed, I asked him to help with a love potion and we went through a lot to make it for you, and before I knew it, I was kissing him in the living room and he was kissing me back and then it all just got away from us. We sorta... had sex and then I asked him about getting you protection. But I couldn't tell you about me and him because you wouldn't have understood, so I asked about getting you a different demon and - I don't know, he just went bonkers! Couldn't be reasoned with."

"And you wonder why I don't trust him."

"Mabel, please," Dipper grunted, pressing his index and thumb to his temples. "The point is, somewhere along the line he found out that I had summoned him just for answers to the journal and got upset that I was using him. We broke up, alright? That's why I've been so distant since then." He sat down in one of the armchairs and wrapped his arms around his stomach, staring absently at the floor. "I was afraid he would use you as revenge and I couldn't bear to see him hurt you too."

Mabel stared at him from across the room and felt tears well in her eyes. She rubbed her arm and chewed her bottom lip.

"You abandoned me because of a breakup with _Bill_?" she croaked. Dipper put his face in his hands.

"I knew you wouldn't understand," he sighed. Mabel shook her head. She moved across the room and knelt down before him, putting her hands on his knees.

"I understand better than anyone, bro. Breakups, pfft," she snickered in an attempt to lightened the mood. "But I wish you would have told me. I'm sorry I've been such a jerk about it this whole time. Can you ever forgive me?" She tilted her head with a small smile. Dipper was heaving breaths, sick from having to relive the pain, but he looked into his sister's eyes and was brought to tears himself. Overwhelmed with a flood of emotions, he reached out and took Mabel in his arms, hugging her as tightly as he could manage with shaking arms.

"Awkward sibling hug," he said in a rush of breath, patting his sister's back.

"Awkward sibling hug!" Mabel chimed in return.

When they finally let each other go, Mabel had tears running down her smiling cheeks. Dipper was a mirror of that. They wiped their faces in sync and then Mabel got up to make herself more comfortable on the couch.

"So what's going on with Edwin?" Dipper asked, moving to sit beside her. They propped their heads up on either sofa arm and laid head-to-toe across from one another.

"I'm sorry I had to break in, bro-bro, but I've gone to all sorts of magically inclined people about this - I even managed to get in touch with the Love God - and no one understands how this works and even Love God's anti-love potion doesn't work on him. You were my last hope. I figured if you did it, then maybe you could... undo it."

"Ah geez, I really wish I could, Mabel, but without Bill I..." he cut himself off upon the realization that he did, in fact, have Bill now. Mabel curled up to look at him.

"What?" she questioned.

"I, uh - might be able to help you after all."

"Really?" she grinned, sitting straight up. "You ca-"

"But don't get your hops up," her brother cut in, sitting up and clamping a hand over her mouth. "Bill and I are walking on eggshells, alright, and we're going to try being each other's confident, but that doesn't mean he's going to agree to help after what happened." Mabel nodded and made an agreeing noise behind his hand paired with a thumbs-up. He let go of her mouth and rubbed the back of his head, "I just have one favour to ask."

"Of course, brother bear, what is it?"

"Please don't tell Pacifica."


	4. Here We Go Again

Dawn of the third day home from the hospital and the house was already a wreck. Dipper and Pacifica seemed to always be on the move between taking care of the baby and Dipper's college courses. Hours of homework mixed with a newborn baby was a recipe for disaster, but still Dipper was the happiest he'd been in years. He would never have it any other way.

Atlantica was swaddled in his lap while he sat on the dining room floor waiting for Pacifica to finish making breakfast. One arm was cradling her while the other hasted away writing down answers to his paranormal science homework. A smile, sweet with contentment, rested upon his face as he talked to his daughter, explaining otherworldly forces and dimensional differences and about the escargice-cream he almost ate as a kid - stuff he hoped to one day teach her about that she might be better than he was with the supernatural.

Seeing this rare spectacle made Pacifica's heart flutter.

"Wow, Dipper, you're good with her!" she praised, resting her head in her hands from where she was standing at the counter.

"Aha, thanks," he replied, "You know multitasking with schoolwork and a baby is a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"Yeah?" she smiled.

"But I like it! It's kind of nice to have my mind this busy."

"You seem a lot happier, that's for sure," she pointed out, gesturing to the smile on his face and then turning to flip the pancakes that were sizzling on the griddle. Dipper blushed.

"I feel happier."

The pair continued exchanging small talk until breakfast was ready. Once the table was set, Dipper passed the newborn off to his wife and sat down adjacent to her. Pacifica drew the curtains next the table and the golden rays washed over both girls like a radiant glow.

Awestruck, Dipper gazed unto her while she set Atlantica up to breastfeed. He grinned lazily, circling his finger around the rim of his glass.

"You look so beautiful," he said in a dreamy breath that made the woman's cheeks colour over in pink.

Between bites of their breakfast Dipper stuffed his backpack full to bursting with textbooks, notes, and worksheets for his college class that day. Pacifica scolded him more than once about talking with his mouth full, but he learned the hard way when some of it fell out of his mouth and into his bag, staining his homework with syrupy mush. He flushed red as a beet and didn't say another word until he was at the door, bag draped over his shoulder and kissing his girls goodbye. One small pancake hung out of his mouth as he hadn't had the time to finish before needing to leave.

The walk to school was pretty peaceful. They didn't live far enough away that they would need to drive, it was about a ten minute walk between destinations. But he couldn't stop from smiling, keeping the image of his family in mind as he walked. The sky seemed brighter, the sun was warmer, the birds sang more cheerfully; all up until he saw a pair of identical twins playing in the front yard of a house he passed.

Two boys outside roughhousing, playing cops and robbers, making silly faces at each other - he thought back to Mabel's visit the previous night. After all this time he finally made up with her, a 'fight' that didn't even need to happen all because he refused to tell her about him and Bill. It made him sick to his stomach. Eventually the boys became wary of his locked stare and shouted out to him that he was a weirdo. Snapped back into reality, Dipper quickly apologized and moved along.

After he was past the house, he slowed his walk to a listless stroll. Chills ran over his body, ice flowed through his veins; a ghost hovered at his side, the ghost of what was once his sister's rightful place next to him. He missed her voice and her company, and the way she always made that silly face whenever they had a test that day at school. He couldn't hold back a tiny laugh; that face with the scrunched up nose and crossed eyes and the bleating noise that always accompanied it. His hand clenched and unclenched at his side, missing the warmth of Mabel's hand.

He looked up to the sky where the sun was shining bright overhead. And he stared... and stared and stared. Then he stopped walking. The sun was looking back at him, he could swear it. Putting a hand over his eyes, he squinted into the light and noticed a thin black sliver in the center of it.

When he looked away, all his surroundings were grey.

And suddenly that empty space in his palm was filled.

He jumped in his skin, nearly falling over into the street when he glanced beside him and saw Bill hovering there with a firm grip on his hand.

"Bill!" he shrieked, clutching his chest and taking rapid breaths.

"Relax, kid, it's just-" Bill put a finger to his eye and made a puppy face, "lil' ol' me!"

"Dude, I-I'm trying to get to school, what do you want?"

"I was getting a crazy amount of distress signals coming from you. You wanted someone to hold hands, so here I am!" he sing-songed, gripping the other's hand tighter.

"Not y-" he hesitated and cleared his throat, "I was missing my sister."

Bill's body flashed a brilliant light and suddenly he was in the shape of Mabel, twirling his hair in his fingers and grinning wide enough to blind someone.

"If that's what you want, Pines, I can be anything you want!" Dipper immediately jerked his hand out of Bill's grasp and brushed it off on his pants.

"Please, please don't do that." Bill pouted again, leaning into Dipper's face and whimpering, and Dipper leaned back grimacing. Much to his relief, however, Bill laughed and returned to his default form. He moved to hover in front of the young man's face.

"So you miss Shooting Star. Seems to me like you could use a friend!" Bill drawled the last word out in that creepy way he does that reminded Dipper of the time he lost his body to him. His flesh goose-bumped, body shuddering at the way Bill's voice had all the comfort of nails on a blackboard.

"Uh," Dipper choked, "I-I think I'll be fine, thanks."

"C'mon, Pine Tree," Bill returned, coiling an arm around the other's shoulder and squeezing him tighter, "let bygones be bygones. We're friends now!" The demon settled himself down on the chainlink fence of the house they had paused in front of. He reclined back, crossing his arms behind his head and kicking one leg over the other. "Let's rap." Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Bill, I don't think you understand. We can't just be friends, you know, there's gotta be sort of a..." He rolled his hands around each other, biting his bottom lip. The words he was looking for seemed to disintegrate in the air.

"A what?" Bill questioned, a smirk evident in his voice. He snickered and summoned tentacles of shadow up from the ground beneath the other. They caressed Dipper's body and slithered into his hands. One patted at his back. The hairs stood on the back of his neck; he lept to the side and tripped backwards, landing flat on his butt in the road. His teeth were grit and his face pale with horror.

"I'm really not comfortable with this!" he squeaked, trembling at the re-approaching tendrils. Each one formed a mouth of shark-like teeth and laughed at him before retracting back into the ground from whence they came. Bill chuckled too, staring down at the young man with satisfaction.

"You haven't changed a bit," he said. Bill slid off the fence and put himself back into the air, extending a hand out to Dipper who stared it down, glancing between it and Bill, before getting to his feet himself. Bill dimmed, retracting his hand. "Pine Tree, let's go for a walk." He motioned to the infinite stretch of sidewalk which, at some point, had been changed to lead into a deepening darkness that seemed to extend forever. Despite his better judgment, Dipper hesitantly nodded and pressed forward down the road with Bill at his side.

The world began piecing away. Houses and scenery faded into nonexistence, becoming mere outlines and shards of pale colour the further they went. It grew quieter and darker the, but Bill didn't say another word. He levitated silently with a content and neutral expression that Dipper was having a hard time decoding. For a long time, he stared at the demon, waiting for any kind of advance or some sort of magic to spook him but none ever came. Bill was totally relaxed.

And honestly, that was creepier than anything he could have ever done to scare him. Dipper attempted to break the silence.

"So... was there something you wanted to say to me?" he asked, but gained no response. Rolling his tongue in his mouth, he glanced around the endless void where Bill was the only light to spite the awkwardness. Bill didn't budge. "What am I supposed to say here, man?" he tried again, still fruitless. It was almost as if Bill himself was in a trance, or perhaps like he was an illusion just meant to make up for the absence of Mabel. Cautiously, he reached out to touch the demon - just to be safe - and saw that he was, in fact, really there.

Now he was getting a little irritated. At this rate, he was going to miss his class and Bill didn't even appear to have a reason to stop him.

"If you're not gonna say anything, I've really gotta get to-"

"Pine Tree, something is bothering you and I'm not letting you go until you talk to me."

"What? Why?"

"Because," Bill said as he stopped moving suddenly, "that's what friends do."

Dipper gaped at him in disbelief that he could have possibly said that.

"And what do you know about being a friend?"

"About as much as I do about romancing a prepubescent fleshbag boy," Bill growled, crossing his arms and strengthening a glare on him. "Believe it or not, I have to learn things on my own too. Like how I learned what a two-faced, lying heartbreak you are." Ice shot through Dipper's veins like liquid agony. He felt smaller than a crumb, his whole face draining and stomach rejecting his breakfast. He took a shaky breath.

"You... don't even have a heart."

Bill dropped his arms and shifted his gaze away.

"Not anymore."

Hot tears began welling in Dipper's eyes and he fought to keep them back, not letting them roll down his face and show weakness in front of Bill. He swallowed hard the frog in his throat and refrained from looking directly at the demon in front of him. Finally, Bill continued.

"But here I am, trying to fix things with you, Pine Tree," he raised his voice, putting a hand on one hip and pointing the other at Dipper. "And if you don't want to make things right, that's fine. I expected that of a sorry fleshbag like you, but I'm willing to give you a second chance..." Dipper's arms lifted up without his permission, a yellowish aura surrounding them indicating Bill's influence. The red flannel sleeves peeled back, revealing the triangular self-harm scars embedded in his skin. Embarrassed of them, Dipper averted his eyes. "...and don't tell me you don't want that, too."

"I..." Dipper took a deep breath - one that coursed throughout him from head to toe, his being and in fact his entire existence trembling before him. "Okay." Bill released the magic influence on his arms and they dropped listlessly to his sides again, still not looking at the demon.

"That's what I thought," said Bill in almost a whisper. He moved closer to the other and took his hands, physically, in his own.

The world around them shifted and changed. Bill scrolled through dreamscape locations until they were back at Dipper's house and in the living room where he sat the young man down and waited for him to come out of his deep trance. The house was eerily empty. So used to the sounds of his wife and daughter in the background, something about the silence was just so distinctly Bill. Dipper took steadying breaths. Eventually, a pressure began to bubble in his chest and it rocketed from his mouth before he could stop it.

"Mabel came over the night before last," he blurted, screwing his eyes shut tight enough to hurt. He clamped his hands over his head and waited for Bill to make a smart remark, but none ever came.

"Go on," he said, keenly interested in what the other had to say. Dipper sighed and tried to relax his tense muscles. His hands were clenched and shaking on his thighs and sweat beaded at his forehead.

"She... needed my help," he explained. "I didn't let her in, she came in through the window. She said it was important. That guy, Edwin, that we helped her with nine years ago is making her really unhappy. I almost turned her down, but I thought... that maybe you could help. Just like you did when we were twelve." His heart was racing, hands clammy and chest tight. His face flushed a deep red, fearing what Bill would have to say about it.

"And why should I?" he asked more like a legitimate question than a nasty remark.

Dipper swallowed hard. "I told her everything about us."

And there it was - Bill slow clapped and rolled his eye, making Dipper feel like an idiot for ever thinking he was going to be understanding.

"Well well well, it only took you nine and a half years." Bill fabricated a wristwatch and checked it mockingly. "That's gotta be record time."

"Forget it," Dipper huffed, pinching his arm in an attempt to knock himself out of the dream world. "This was never going to work. You don't know how to be a friend to anyone, let alone me." Bill swatted his hand away from his arm.

"Yeesh, I make one joke and you're already giving up on me." He pointed to the wall at a sign that said 'No fun allowed!' which, in reality, was an old high school portrait of Dipper and Pacifica at prom. He then shrugged and moved to sit on the couch next to Dipper. "I appreciate it, kid - honest! And maybe I can help. Since you came clean to your sister, I can feel the forgiveness washing over me!" Dipper turned and squinted at him, pursing his lips. "It's weird and it tastes like six parts carbon and oxygen, and twelve parts hydrogen."

"Sugar," Dipper stated in reflex. "It tastes like sugar."

"Oh, is that the human word for it? Neat," Bill said with the light of a smile in his face.

"It's also known as glucose for, you know, chemistry or manufacturing."

"You humans are so crafty; I never cease to be amazed by the things you come up with," Bill laughed. And Dipper could have been imagining things, but he would swear on his life that Bill was glowing brighter and putting off a warmer radiation of heat. The latter was soon confirmed as the demon slouched against him, kicking his feet up on the sofa and crossing his arms behind himself. Dipper jumped slightly and blinked at him, his face flushing over with red yet again. His heart thumped in his chest - Bill was... so warm. Dipper swallowed and opened his mouth to say something but only a croak came out. Before he could clear his throat and try again, Bill continued. "That was a cute noise, kid," he beamed, "I bet it would sound even better in bed!"

"No!" Dipper shrieked with a jolt, jerking away from Bill and making the demon collapse even further against him, "I-I thought you - we... Let's not..." His panicked attempt at a rejection was drowned out by Bill's laughter. The demon had his hands clenched over his middle and doubled over in the opposite direction of the young man, allowing Dipper to sit up straight again. He pressed his lips tightly together and scooted as far away as he could from Bill until he was sitting uncomfortably hard against the sofa arm.

"Oh, Pine Tree, Pine Tree - you are too much of a joke!" he sighed, wiping a tear away from his eye. "Did you forget I'm practically the king," he pointed at his hat and in the blink of an eye it transformed into a crown, a metallic ting resonating off of it, "of comedy!"

Dipper was unamused and very uncomfortable.

"Yeah, heh heh... Listen, Bill..." he rubbed the back of his head nervously, "maybe this isn't such a good idea." The demon straightened up and fixed a glare on him, all joy draining from his face.

"And why not?"

"Because... Because..."

"Because you won't leave the past in the past."

"Hey, I wanted to leave the past in the past. You, Bill, I tried to leave you in the past. I wanted to forget about you and move on with my life, but here you are again and it's really hard for me not to..."

"Not to what, Pines?"

"...not to love you, Bill."

Dipper waited for Bill an indication of surprise or even anger, but Bill remained merely irritated. For a long time, he didn't reply at all and regret washed over Dipper in a wave of nausea. He was about to get up and walk away until finally he spoke.

"And you think it's easy for me to pretend nothing ever happened either?" Dipper's breath hitched in his chest. He stared, gaping, at the demon next to him. Out of everything he expected, nothing could have prepared him to hear that. "Don't try to tell me you wanted to leave me behind. Every time you drew my image, I had to sever the link yet again. Do you even know how difficult it was to catch glimpses of you begging for my forgiveness and have to keep shutting off my omniscience to you? And your skin," he said, pointing to Dipper's arms, "you can't even imagine how infuriating it was for me when you kept scratching off the scabs and reopening the wounds, causing the portal to open again and again and again!" Dipper's eyes fell to the floor, hands idly shifting in his lap. Guilt ran through his blood like a cold reminder of his past. "I mean, I felt emotions I didn't even know existed! What's that one where you look at something and feel pain yet joy and also desire? Do you understand that one? Can you explain it to me?" he asked in what was really more of a demand.

"Longing," Dipper answered with a sigh. He rested his elbow on the sofa arm and put his cheek in his palm, staring absently at the wall. "Or reminiscence. It sounds like... you were missing me."

"Well, I didn't like it," the demon huffed, crossing his arms.

"Yeah... It sucks," Dipper added, gazing at his scars. He shook his head solemnly. "So will you help Mabel or not?" Bill stood up on the sofa and stretched his hands out, cracking his knuckles. He grabbed his cane out of thin air and strutted off the couch until he was walking on air again.

"Don't worry, this one's on me. Practically free!" he said, tipping his hat to the young man.

"'Practically' free?" Dipper crossed his arms with a frown. "What's the catch?"

"Come on, kid, I've got places to be. I still have a job to do, y'know. I can't hang around reading the terms and conditions to every deal I make or I'd never get anything done."

"Bill-"

"Just trust me! It's not even a lot, just a trifle," Bill waved it off dismissively, "I'll add it to your tab and when the time comes, you'll never even miss it."

Before Dipper could protest any further, Bill lurched forward and took his hand in a fiery grasp. He tipped his hat once again and said with a twinkle in his eye, "Pleasure doing business with you! Now off to school, sleepy-head!"

With the snap of his fingers, the dream world shattered around them and Dipper awoke on the sidewalk where he'd passed out an hour and a half before. He blinked hard and saw that a sweet-looking portly woman was standing over him with a phone, saying something he was still too half-asleep to really take in.

"Oh never mind, he's awake! I think he'll be alright," she said and then hung up. After a few moments, he was helped to his feet and dusted off. His head was pounding with a new headache he'd gotten either from Bill or perhaps from hitting the sidewalk, and he wasn't quite certain which he would believe first.

"Ah, my head's killing me," he groaned, rubbing the knot forming underneath his hair. "What time is it?"

"I've got, uh, eleven-thirty."

"Shit!" Dipper gasped, choking on his own saliva and throwing himself into a coughing fit. He turned to grab his bookbag off the ground and quickly thanked the woman for her kindness before racing off down the street at full speed, nearly tripping over his own feet. "I'm super late for class!"


	5. Science Scare

It was a very lucky thing that his professor took bribes, and even luckier that he knew she was pretty much addicted to Pitt Cola. So when he showed up nearly a half hour late into the lecture with a six pack of pitt and a guilty grin smeared across his face, he received only a glare and a few 'kiss-ass' comments from his classmates. It was the preferable choice between that and losing marks in the class for absence.

Dipper settled down in his seat and popped a stick of gum into his mouth. It took him an embarrassingly long time to discover that gum was a much less explosive thing to chew rather than his pens and then decide to replace it in his thoughtful activities.

Ignoring the comment from his classmate next to him, 'does your wife know you're sleeping with your professor?', he rolled his eyes and brought out his notebook. Every few pages was yet another drawing of Bill, which he figured he could get away with since it technically _was_ supernatural studies.

Over the next half hour, he diligently jotted down notes from every part of the lecture as per usual, fighting away his drifting thoughts toward his earlier exchange with Bill. It was an intense thing to suddenly have the demon back in his life especially after years of fruitless attempts to contact him, but he had bigger fish to fry - he had a life now, a wife and a daughter and a job, and they were all things he was not willing to sacrifice. He had worked way too hard to get to where he was.

His writing slowed to a stop.

But then again, after nearly a decade, was he really going to give up what might be his one and only chance to redeem himself with Bill? Even as confidents, it was hard to believe that Bill would hold no grudge over him for his... admittedly stupid and heartless move nine years ago.

His shoulders dropped. Butterflies fluttered in his belly as he recalled the sweet warmth of Bill resting against his side. The room felt a bit cool, he thought, pulling his sleeves down further over his wrists. Eyes clouded with reverie stared blankly down at his half-written paper. He fixed on the fluid motions of Bill's body, the familiar glow of his aura, his bright and confident voice.

Dipper shook his head, snapping himself out of it. Bill was just so interesting, somehow incredibly intoxicating in a way and Dipper hated it, he thought bitterly. His thoughts turned back to the matter at hand. What did Bill mean by 'practically free'? That demon never wasted any words. There was always a catch and usually with horrifying consequences that typically aren't foreseen. The top of Dipper's pen found its way between his teeth as he stewed over whether or not he'd dragged Mabel into something dangerous. He tried to think of ways this whole thing could go terribly wrong.

Bill might tell Edwin some false rumors and they could get in a huge fight, and Mabel could get horribly maimed in their explosive breakup. Or perhaps Bill would make Mabel fall in love with someone else and Edwin would see it as cheating and it would ruin future potential relationships for his sister. And Bill had a way about him wherein he liked to find loopholes to everything, he could instead try to just make the guy move overseas or something and he would just continue stalking her over the internet or mailing her every day or blowing up her phone like the psycho he pretty much is.

Dipper's thoughts came to an abrupt halt when the word 'scholarship' rang out in class. His eyes shot up to his professor who had written the words INDEPENDENT RESEARCH PROJECT on the whiteboard in big red letters next to a set of three dollar signs.

"...by providing evidence to your theory. It can be any topic your heart desires - the big bang theory, for example, is the proposition that the universe hiccuped and created the mistake that is life, but how scientists came to that conclusion is what you'd need to present." Dipper's eyes lit up and he began furiously writing down ideas for his project and how he would schedule it into his routine. "First place winners get the scholarship prize that will pay for your next year's tuition, should you study another year."

Finances had been a massive burden on him and Pacifica since her account containing her inheritance had gotten frozen. She had wanted to make their place feel just a little more like home and managed to blow a cringe-worthy amount of the money they did have on lavish things, but Dipper couldn't bring himself to blame her for that.

The first thing that came to mind on this whole independent studies thing was the multiverse theory. Dipper already knew it was true - he still had vague nightmares of the melting snail ice cream Bill had tried to make him eat years ago, so all he would have to do is gather proof and that scholarship was as good as his. He began fantasizing about all the things he could do with the tuition money he'd be saving by winning this. Things he could buy for Pacifica, or imagine all the diapers he could stock up on for Atlantica! He- wow... had being a parent really hit him that hard that he was excited about buying diapers? He chuckled a bit at this. When oh when did he become an old man?

For the remainder of the class, Dipper thought about how he was going to gather proof. The obvious choice was to ask Bill for help, but part of him was hesitant to ask any more favours of the demon. If he knew Bill - and he did, particularly well - there was little doubt that demon had a nasty trick up his sleeve for whatever 'tab' he was holding. Still, deep down he had a ray of hope that Bill was sincere about fixing things between them. Dipper gripped the cuffs of his sleeves, recalling how Bill had exposed his scars. He wasn't necessarily a bad demon, just a little unstable. Anyone who had lived that long undoubtedly would be.

He frowned, gazing out the classroom windows. Perplexed with how to handle his situation, he settled instead on gathering past scientific research and paraphrasing. There was no telling what was already in store for him with Bill and just like he'd told Mabel, he was walking on eggshells as it was and didn't want to push it. He wanted Bill to like him again, he wanted them to be friends - for them to have any involvement with each other's lives whatsoever.

The professor dismissed class and everyone packed up and filed out the door toward either their next class or into the parking lot to go home.

Dipper walked with his head hung, clutching the strap of his backpack tight with anxious hands. His eyes were fixed on the tiled floor gliding past as he made his way down to the parking lot. He thought he could forget about Bill, about their past and about their lack of a future. Sure, he might have gone a little overboard with his way of coping, but it was in the interest that if Bill ever did decide to forgive him, he wouldn't miss out. And in the end, he'd made uneasy peace with the fact it was over between them. He loved Pacifica, and the only one he loved more than her was Atlantica. And if he thought - Ow! Fuck, when did they put all these columns in the middle of the foyer? ...Okay, yeah maybe those were always there. Dipper rubbed his forehead where a bruise was now blooming and cautiously glanced around to make sure no one had seen that. Luckily, in college literally no one gave a shit about anyone else, allowing him to sigh with timid relief and make his way out to his car.

...

"I'm home!" the young man called out with the accompanying sounds of the door shutting behind him and the clatter of his backpack hitting the wall in the same spot it always did. He'd stopped by the library on his way home to gather a few books to aid his research. From upstairs he could hear muffled pop music playing. He smiled, swinging around the post and rocketing up the stairs in an air of joy.

Dipper threw his bag across the hardwood floors and it slid until it crashed against the couch where Pacifica was sitting and nursing Atlantica. She greeted him with a pleasant smile and set down her issue of _Previously Rich People Magazine_.

"What's got you so cheerful? Finally promoted to head dork of the nerd class?" Dipper flopped down on the sofa beside her, a beaming grin lighting up the room.

"Not yet, but I will be after I totally ace this research project!" Pacifica snorted lightly, but Dipper extended his hands excitedly. "No no, listen! The school is giving out a scholarship for next year to whoever wins first prize on this independent research project proving scientific theories true! Or false, maybe, I don't know I kind of stopped paying attention at some point." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well if anyone can place first in a nerd competition it's you," she responded teasingly. Dipper chuckled and ran a hand through his brown locks. A blush settled on his face with the image of his great uncle Ford passing through his mind.

"Yeah, heh. I guess I take after the best," he shrugged, leaning an elbow on the arm of the sofa. The two sat in blissful contentment listening to Prima Donna Young Woman by Marinara and the Cubic Zirconia, the latest top song of the nation - Pacifica couldn't get enough of it. Perhaps she somehow related to it.

Atlantica cooed against Pacifica's teat, wriggling around gleefully. Both parents broke into a smile. Dipper locked eyes with his wife. A moment of tender gazing and Pacifica blushed deep pink. He stretched over to give her a kiss on the cheek, and softly he brushed the bangs out of her eyes. They smiled again until suddenly, Dipper's ear started to ring. He shook his head and twisted his pinky around inside it, chill bumps prickling along his neck. It tingled down to the core, causing him to shiver and wouldn't quit. Trying to ignore it, he turned the radio a few more clicks up and leaned on the arm of the sofa with his cheek resting in his hand again. He gazed at his wife from across the way.

She set down Atlantica on the table. Slightly perplexed, Dipper scrunched his eyebrows and cocked his head a bit.

"Dipper," she said in a straight voice, "how much sleep have you been getting lately?"

"Uh-"

"I think you should get more sleep." She turned away from her husband, bringing both hands to her hidden face. "Get rid of all that school and work foofarah, it's not a place for smart people, Dipper."

"Sweetheart, are you alri-"

"Kiss me, Dipper!" She turned sharply back to him and he nearly fell out of his chair upon seeing the elongated llama face that had replaced her normal face rocket towards him for a smooch. He shrieked and reflexively threw his hands out in front of him to stop her, and as she came crashing down onto him, her breasts - one still out and exposed - landed flat against his hands. A heavy red blush befell him.

"What the heck?!" he yelped, turning his head away to avoid being frenched by a furry version of his wife. She then rolled backwards and clenched her hands over her stomach, laughing boisterously in that loud, obnoxious tone that Dipper knew by heart.

"Bill!" he barked angrily, sitting straight up.

"Boy, Pine Tree, I really had you going there! You sure were a sight for sore eye, all red with embarrassment and frightened half to death." Dipper was gaping in disbelief, fists clenched in his lap. Bill continued to laugh with abandon, shape-shifting back to his default form (but retaining the llama face) as he did. "If you keep that up, Pines, your face will freeze that way."

Dipper didn't find this amusing.

"I would have done this while Pacifica was in the room, but I didn't want to a-llama!"

And he found that even less amusing.

Bill pulled the face off as if it had been a mask the entire time, and _not_ attached to his body as it actually was, and tossed it into oblivion behind him. He wiped a tear from his eye and rested both hands on his sides.

"So," he began somewhat condescendingly, "I heard about this project of yours and-"

"Wait, how?"

"I have eyes in many places, Dipstick, did you forget I'm omniscient?" he said, making a ring of eyes around him that all looked at Dipper, blinked, then popped sequentially like bubbles.

"Okay well, first of all why were you spying on me, and secondly, why do you care about my project anyway?"

"We've been through why I spy on you countless times, I'm through explaining it. And _anyway_ , I was getting to my point that I've decided to help you out!"

"You've 'decided?' Bill, did you consider that maybe I wasn't going to ask you for help?"

"Of course you were! Who else would you go to for all the secrets of the universe?" Bill stretched his arms out to either side and flashed with images of various nebulae and quazars.

"The internet."

Bill scowled and Dipper crossed his arms. "Pity you didn't think of that ten years ago," the demon hissed, squinting at him. A pang of shame punched Dipper in the gut. He averted his eyes from the other and after a short awkward silence, Bill continued. "The moment you get on that computer the only thing you're gonna do is look at pictures of redheads. You'll get ten minutes of work done and then jerk off for the rest-"

"Bill!" Dipper threw his arms up and then jumped to his feet, marching toward the door. "Look, I don't need this alright, will you just go? I can do it on my own."

Bill teleported in front of him in the doorway where he crossed his legs and leaned smugly against the door frame. "Whatever you say, Pine Tree, but when you fail I won't say I told you so."

Dipper pushed Bill in vertical halves like an old western-style door and walked through him, leaving him behind to swing shut and reconfigure as he stomped down the stairs toward the study.

"If you ever come to your senses, I'll be happy to help!"

Rolling his eyes, Dipper pushed open the door to the study and found the room to be completely blank. He nearly fell into it, but retracted his foot and caught his balance. After inspecting it for a moment, he turned back to see the world unraveling behind him. In a flash, he found himself upstairs once again on the sofa across from Pacifica who, thank god, was back to normal.

He glanced around, partially disorientated. He must have fallen asleep there. Bill would explain the ear-ringing, slipping into his head like that.

Dipper sat up and stretched. He reached forward to stroke Atlantica's head and planted a kiss on his wife's cheek. They smiled at each other and Dipper excused himself down to the study to work on his project. Getting up with his bag and back-stepping out of the room, he beheld them as long as possible until he turned the corner into the hallway and raced downstairs to begin the long, tireless process that was researching for a school science fair.


	6. Taking Sides

The afternoon sun was high in the sky and it was a beautiful day to die.

Dipper's shift was over, he was driving home and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he listened to his usual jazz station. He didn't have school today but his schedule worked out nicely when it came to dividing time between the two. Made things easier for him, though he found he didn't normally have a lot of time to spend with his family. But when he did, which was mostly on weekends after work since there was no school, they were all he cared about.

It felt nice to have a routine. After his days of wallowing in self-pity, he was grateful for a little joy and order in his life. And now, after years of distance, Mabel had come back into his life. It would take a little while to get used to it again, but he missed her and couldn't wait to start putting all the pieces of his life back together. Even Bill got to be a part of it again. There was no force in the universe he could thank enough for that. Things finally felt like they were going back to normal.

Dipper pulled into his driveway and everything felt alright. Mabel's car was there, though it was parked in his place and he had to park part of the way on the sidewalk, he thought mildly cynically to himself. He could see his small family sitting in the living room. Pacifica, Atlantica, and Mabel all in one place; it made his heart swell with happiness. The only thing it was missing for everything to be perfect was - of course - Bill.

He clued back into reality when Mabel's frantic waving and the glint of Pacifica's faux diamond necklace in the sun beams caught his eye. He smiled and waved back and only realized when Mabel made the 'come on' motion that it was his house and he could walk right inside and greet them if he wanted to. A very teeny tiny part of him decided he would rather summon Bill and have another talk with him - maybe about his day at work - instead, but the sane two-thirds of him carried himself inside.

"Welcome to the estrogen-fest, Dipper," Mabel greeted, elbowing her brother in the side with a beaming grin lighting up her face. "Can I get ya anything? Some eggs to go with that sausage?"

"Mabel!" Dipper flushed, covering Atlantica's ears. "We're in polite company!"

"I would hope Pacifica knows or you're both _probably_ a bit confused as to how that," Mabel gestured to Atlantica, "got here."

"Lighten up, Dipper, it's not like she's old enough to understand it yet," said Pacifica as she handed Dipper their child. He cradled the infant in his arms, softly stroking her hair.

"Yeah well," he grumbled playfully and rolled his eyes, "we should kick the habit."

Mabel flopped into the couch and kicked her feet up onto the glass coffee table wherein a number of goldfish were swimming gaily in its base. Pacifica sat down (more gently) beside her and clicked on the TV to a background noise volume. It had become habit to keep Atlantica's waters calm.

"That's our Dipper - always looking on the dull side of life. Serious as a snake, grumpy as a-"

"Not that I don't love your visits, Mabes," Dipper interjected, cutting off her word chain before it began, "but why are you here?"

"Oh yeah! Your old b...uddy," Mabel's eyes flicked to Pacifica and she nonchalantly cleared her throat, "stopped by to visit me today."

"Wait, Bill?"

Mabel gave him a dumb look. She shook her head and shrugged, "Yeah, it was the weirdest thing. Just showed up and told me I 'might want to evacuate the premises'," she explained with air quotes. "Pfft, whatever _that_ means."

Dipper rubbed the back of his neck. "It's Bill," he shrugged, "he does weird stuff. What do you expe-"

"Shh!" Pacifica shushed and reached to turn up the TV. The twins just caught sight of the large BREAKING NEWS as it faded from the screen and into a serious looking news caster. The music silenced.

A headline appeared at the bottom of the screen reading SUBURBAN HOUSE IMPLODES, catching Dipper's attention in a flash. As the reporter spoke, he moved to sit beside his wife with his daughter nestled in his lap.

"Police are baffled," the woman said. "Moments ago, a video that was taken from a civilian's iphone was sent into the authorities. Police were stunned and thoroughly confused when the video revealed what seemed to be an ordinary house collapsing into itself and then simply disappearing into thin air." The screen was taken to the video in question, a wind-blown and slightly pixelated portrait recording of what was undoubtedly Bill Cipher's handiwork - one, because it was clearly a magical force against nature, and two, because what other being would go through such great lengths to get a job done?

"My house!" Mabel screeched, shoving her brother and sister-in-law to either side in horror. After the clip ended, the news caster spoke up again.

"Investigations on this terrifying occurrence are underway. Police suspect there may have been casualties."

"Well, I guess that _does_ take care of it," Dipper uttered to himself, somewhat lost in a dream about Bill's extremism.

"I just signed a two-year lease on that!"

"Look on the bright side, you won't have to worry about Edwin anymore," he offered gingerly. Clearly lending to his less bright side.

"Dipper, that's my house! What am I supposed to do? Go home and live in the hole?" his sister retorted snappily.

"O-Oh! Yeah, no, sorry, I guess you can't exactly do that - you can stay here if you need to, I suppose," he said sheepishly, eyes darting to Pacifica as if to confirm it with her. She agreed.

"Just don't disturb Atlantica," Pacifica added with a layer of sass in her voice. Mabel smiled and put a hand on both their shoulders.

As she was about to thank them, a rose of blue flames bloomed and burst into glowing golden bricks and became Bill Cipher, hovering just in front of the television. Clapping the dust off his hands, he mused at the three fleshbags sitting across from him.

"Guess what you're all accomplices to!" he said, chipper as always.

"Bill!" the twins shouted in sync with varying levels of anger.

"What are you doing here?" Dipper said with abashed shock, eying his wife nervously. He shrugged at her and shook his head, mouthing, "I have no idea why he's h- you would not believe how shocked I am right now!"

"What the heckskies did you do to my house?" Mabel outraged.

"You're _welcome_ ," Bill admonished. "Here, I know you humans have attachments to inanimate objects so I brought you a souvenir." From behind his back, Bill retrieved a lone red brick that was about a fourth his size and dropped it to the ground at Mabel's feet. "You don't have to thank me." Mabel was so furious she was at a loss for words, her jaw was practically on the ground and her hands were thrown up into the air.

"Okay, okay, I _know_ you were told to take care of Edwin, but _this_ was not the way to do it!" Mabel ran her hands through her long hair and clenched her fists in it. "I don't even care that he's dead, but did you have to wreck my house, you abominable equilateral?"

"Sheesh, can you believe this girl, Pine Tree?" Dipper's ears perked up, there was a very tiny sparkle in his eye that not even Bill caught. But he didn't have to. "After all I've done for her - completely free on her end - and here I am getting lip! The nerve!"

"I don't believe this. It's not even about that. He just - ugh! Replace my house or give me compensation, you dumb polygon!"

From behind her, a tiny voice spoke, "I... I don't know, Mabel, he kinda has a point."

The girls gaped in unison.

"'What?'," "'Excuse me?'," they said. Dipper felt smaller than a mouse. His face began shading pink; he rubbed the back of his neck. Bill looked smug.

"Y-you know, he _did_ do the job, didn't he? And it's not like he framed us as murderers or conspirators or anything. It was sorta nice of him to do that, if you a-"

"Dipper Pines, do you hear yourself right now?" Pacifica belted, jumping to her feet with the stamp of her foot. "Appreciate your family, Dipper, you're lucky to have such a good sister. Don't side with _him_!"

"I'm sorry," he mumbled shamefully, yet insincerely. Pacifica carefully removed her daughter from her deranged husband's possession. A moment passed with the girls muttering to each other. Dipper watched them timidly. His mouth welded shut by his wife's outburst, he resigned to glancing at Bill. The demon was watching him back, gazing appreciatively, and it lit a tiny flame in Dipper's belly. "But you know," he continued abruptly, "beggars can't be choosers. It's not Bill's fault he's psychotic! Just because Mabel is my sister doesn't mean I have to side with her." Two appalled sets of eyes locked on him. "I'm an adult now, I-I can make my own decisions. And I think you two should give him a break. He did the job, and it could have been worse. I mean, honestly, what did you expect from Bill freaking Cipher? Going back in time and changing the past? We learned years ago why that's a terrible idea!"

" _Thank you_ , Pine Tree," Bill said, clapping, "at least _someone_ around here appreciates my hard work and good will." Bill put on a small show for the group, showering Dipper in flowers and gold. Tiny nuggets rained over him, sounding similar to small rocks hitting the hardwood floors; while roses and daisies fluttered down gently, some of which landing in his hair. A twinge of regret knotted in Dipper's stomach, embarrassment reddening his cheeks. He stared ahead at the girls as they stood with their arms folded and faces cross. With shoulders tense, he gulped and stood frozen like a deer caught in headlights.

"Y-Yeah. Uh, Bill?" he choked, uneasy with the turning of his stomach. Bill coiled an arm around him, reeling himself into Dipper's shoulder and taking him in a side-hug.

"Yes, my dearest and most loyal - yet dishonest and manipulative - friend?"

Dipper was hesitant.

"Not that I don't value your friendship," he said through gritted teeth and brows furrowed, "but I need to talk to the girls alone for a minute."

"Sure, fine," said Bill, releasing Dipper from his bind and retreating into the gleaming light he'd manifested whilst no one was looking. "You need your 'family' time, I dig the human style." He pointed at Mabel, "Just remember, I did what you asked, Shooting Star, I'm not the bad guy here." Retreating into the light, he uttered his usual 'reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!' and vanished in a burst of flames.

The bubble of slumber that encased the room popped and everyone awoke with a start. Silence loomed for a few moments of uncomfortable staring. Mabel rubbed her eyes.

"Dipper, what the heck was that?" she admonished.

"I-"

"You totally undermined us, Dipper, that wasn't okay," Pacifica said, too.

"Listen, I know it was a bit out of line, but I mean come on guys - Edwin has been taken care of, we're not connected to it, and we're unharmed."

"'Unharmed'? I'm homeless!"

"Well... yeah, but-"

"Nothing good ever comes of your crazy conspiracies with that no good triangle. Someone always goes into a coma or becomes homeless and you always take his side!" she crossed her arms and turned her back to her twin.

"Hey!" Dipper snapped, pointing an accusatory finger at her, "I'm not the one who broke into their twin's house in the middle of the night begging for help because you can't handle your own relationship drama. You asked my help and I did what I could. I can't help it if it's not exactly how you wanted it to turn out!"

"You could have helped me yourself or gotten another demon, but _no_ it just had to be Bill because you can't get over your dumb obsessive complex with him!"

Dipper's face flushed beet red, his breath hitched in his chest, and his heart skipped a beat. His eyes flicked to Pacifica, whose face was unchanging. He clenched his fists at his sides and shook his head silently before turning and storming out of the room.

All the way up the stairs, he marched with a fiery fury surrounding him. He yanked the cord for the hatch that led up to the attic. One of the secrets he'd sworn only to himself. The ladder came down and he climbed up into his makeshift shine room.

Papers lined the walls, depicting drawings upon drawings of Bill's image. In two corners adjacent to each other sat golden-painted statues of him with all six arms stretched out and holding their respective items. He'd 'borrowed' the original one from Ford's house and had copies made of it.

Around the black and gold painted summoning circle that Dipper had drawn himself ages ago when they'd first moved into this house was the Cipher wheel in white. A framed photo of Dipper with his eyes crossed out was sitting perfectly in the center of it all. He sat down in front of it and sighed, feeling a bit more relaxed in the company of his hyper-familiar surroundings. After what Bill had said before, he realized he would have to open a new portal for him to come through since not a single one of these would work.

He pulled out his wallet from his jeans and opened it to retrieve a scrap of writing paper. A photograph of his great uncle Stanford fell out by accident and he quickly returned it to its windowed slot. He drew Bill in a flash, as he'd become quite accustomed to doing so.

"Bill," he said, rolling his eyes, "come back. I want to apologize."

The paper at his fingertips glowed, but Bill remained in his own dimension.

"I'm listening," he said.

"Sorry I sorta had to shoo you out. I'm in big trouble with Mabel and Pacifica for taking your side."

"Congrats on your second set of parents, Pine Tree."

"Mabel's just upset right now," Dipper defended as Bill slipped out from the paper and into the human world, "and Pacifica is a little in shock after having the baby."

"So what you're saying is they're both crazy, right?"

"I... no. I don't know, okay? But how can I make it up to you?"

Oh, there were lots of ways Pine Tree was going to make up for his incompetence, but good things come to those who wait. Bill rubbed his figurative chin with an index and a thumb.

"Hm. Actually, Pines, I think I can let it slide."

"Wha- really?"

Bill laughed, "Yeah! In fact, I think as a measure to prevent that skinvelope larva of yours from developing that nasty trait, I'll give it a little gift!"

Dipper swallowed a bit of hesitance. "Like what, exactly?"

Bill shut his eye and chuckled, holding his arms out to either side. "The gift," he began. His eye shot open, beaming a searing white light through his lashes that nearly blinded Dipper who shielded his eyes from its brilliance; "of omniscience!" His voice boomed and echoed, reverberating off the wooden walls. A small spark of happiness lit deep within Dipper's chest. Bill was incredible. As the light dissipated, he unfolded his elbow from his face and looked at Bill in blank awe.

Bill shrugged, "Also she'll keep cats off the sofa." Dipper gave a crooked half-smile. "By killing them," he added last minute.

"Whatever," Dipper waved off mindlessly, clearly having not payed much attention to that last part, "just make sure Pacifica doesn't know about it. Or Mabel. Not yet, anyway. They wouldn't understand."

Bill rolled his eye and straightened his bow tie. "Unempathetic, secretive Dipper Pines. As if I would ever do anything to betray your trust."

Dipper frowned, staring up at the other helplessly.

"C'mon! I've got a baby to bless!"


	7. Atlantica vs The Future

Pacifica and Mabel had made the move outside onto the porch and were holding a conference discussing the nature of Dipper being a horse's ass. Names from which that were exchanged include, but are not limited to: 'Doctor Dork' (Mabel), 'stupid jerk with the emotional openness of a brick or something' (Pacifica), and 'definitely not our parents' favourite' (Mabel again).

Meanwhile, Bill sped off down from the attic, blowing the paper drawings clear off the walls in his wake. Dipper hastened to follow, managing to slip on some of the papers on the way. Bill arrived in the nursery first and Dipper was a few seconds behind, having had to climb down the ladder manually as opposed to Bill's simple flight. How Bill had known the layout of their house was far beyond Dipper's range of caring (not to mention it was pretty obvious). Bill pulled Dipper into the nursery where Atlantica was sleeping peacefully. He hovered over her crib with a condescending air about him.

"So... this isn't going to hurt her, is it?" Dipper mumbled.

"Not at all," Bill replied. Dipper continued to worry anyway. From the palm of Bill's hand materialized tongues of flame, swaying gently in the wind of the baby's mobile. The brightness awoke the small life below. Atlantica cooed and rubbed her eyes with a yawn, then looked up into the light squinting. She stared curiously but quietly. Bill stared back, eye wide in the haunting way he does when he's intensely focused, and reached out to take her hand. Bill's tiny hand fit perfectly in hers, somewhat unsurprisingly to Dipper. Blue flames engulfed the child, circling around her and pooling at a single point inside her puny skull. A gleaming light shone inside her; the flames dissipated and the moment Bill let go, her pupils narrowed and Atlantica began screaming bloody murder.

Dipper clamped his hands over his ears, pressing his palms as hard as possible to his head. Her wailing was deafeningly loud, though Bill didn't seem affected or surprised. He simply looked down at her and then to Dipper as if to ask 'why is it making that noise?'.

Though the screaming had not ceased, Dipper slowly peeled his hands away from his ears and shouted over her to Bill, "What did you do?! You promised you wouldn't hurt her!"

"Relax, kid," Bill dismissed, resting his hands on his 'hips', "I didn't hurt the little twerp. My gift's got nothing to do with it. Probably just my 'demonic aura' making it do that," he said with air quotes. He hovered to Dipper's side and stretched an arm around him. "I've got a bad history with babies, you know." Bill snapped his fingers and a set of earplugs materialized in Dipper's ears, shielding him from the painful screeching of his child. He stared down at his daughter with worry.

"Yeah," Dipper said after a moment of tongue-biting, "I know." The young man smiled, remembering his time with Bill before everything fell apart; sitting across the table from him with a glass of his sister's cancerous concoction and watching Bill imbibe while he rattled on about how much he loathed Time Baby.

Dipper reached over his daughter's screaming form and pulled the sea foam green, laced baby blanket up to her shoulders and patted her on the head. This did nothing to calm her. He offered her both her bottle and her pacifier and was met with an even louder outburst of crying. She threw her fists around and kicked her feet, thrashing violently. Dipper was beside himself.

Attention once again turned to Bill, he bit his lip and shook his head, mumbling, "I have to take care of this." Worry lines creased his forehead as he stroked and attempted to settle his daughter. Bill stared back at him with his arms dropped, completely silent. Dipper's eyes flicked between him and the door. Neither of them said anything. The demon continued to wait and watch. Dipper cleared his throat and tugged at the collar of his shirt. The silence continued. Bill blinked. Dipper sighed and just resigned to leave him there in the room.

He took Atlantica in his arms, walked past the demon out into the hall with his crying daughter, and headed down the stairs. A light glowed from behind. He turned around to see Bill following close behind.

"Bill," he said sternly, "I appreciate the gift but I really need to calm Atlantica down."

"Yeah," Bill replied, still staring.

"And you're not helping."

"Oh what, so now you want me to burp it and change it's crap sack?" the demon grunted, crossing his arms.

"What? No! Dude, if your aura is disturbing her, you should probably head out. No offense, man."

"Some taken." Bill pointed a finger gun at him, a tiny magic star aesthetically popping from his fingertip, "Later, kid." And with that he was gone and the world was once again polychromatic.

Dipper breathed a vexed sigh and brought Atlantica downstairs to her mother. Pacifica was still steaming from earlier and practically tore Dipper's arms off trying to take her baby from him. Mabel's eyes spelled homicide. He wasn't going to test either of their patience.

He retreated into the study, after being yelled at a second time, with a coffee and a snack. Locking the door behind him, he decided he would not come out again until dinnertime.

The following hours were spent digging through the internet for claims supporting the multiverse theory and finding sources for those claims. He shredded through encyclopedias and scoured the farthest corners of Google for anything and everything he could use.

And his paper was coming along well. Sure it was mostly flimsy hypotheses and a lot of opinionated debate, but he almost had a half a page! ...In the eight hours of work he'd done.

He'd barely eaten dinner, merely slinking into the kitchen after it had gone pretty cold to avoid the fiery wrath of the girls and grabbing a small plate before retreating back into his hobbit hole.

He was relentless. The sun had long since gone down and his back was starting to ache. He resolved to take a short break so that his eyes wouldn't wither up and his back wouldn't freeze that way. With a long moan, he stretched back in his chair. A chorus of cracks and pops sent relief through him. Glancing at the clock, he pinched the bridge of his nose seeing it was past one in the morning. Eight hours straight he'd been working on this and had almost nothing to show for it. It was exhausting and there was no wonder the prize was so extravagant. But he was determined. Tomorrow was his day off from both work and school, so he could afford to pull and all-nighter on this.

He went to retrieve a snack and another coffee from the kitchen, then set back to work.

There was a page on potential bubble universes and the sciences on them that gave Dipper a base for more of his essay. He paraphrased and rewrote and sourced. Scrolling down the page, there depicted an image of a wave composed of shimmery bubbles. He studied it for a few moments when suddenly a voice rang out from behind him.

"I've been there!" Bill exclaimed, reaching out to point at one of the many bubbles on Dipper's computer screen.

Dipper yelped in surprise. Startled completely out of his chair, he crashed to the floor, banging his head on an end table in the process.

"Ow..." he groaned, rubbing the throbbing soon-to-be-knot on his head. He pulled his hand back to check for blood and frowned.

"It was great," Bill continued heedlessly, "there were lakes of spinal fluid, which _I_ personally think is ironic because humans - and this is the great part - don't exist! Well, I guess technically they don't exist, but I suppose if you replaced that brain bubble of yours," he gestured to Dipper's head, "with a salmon then it could be human-like. Although, on other worlds there, things are a bit different. It depends where you make your stops really, and I was just dropping by to visit a Bill I knew there." Bill put a hand to one side of his face as though he had a mouth to even block, "moron goes by 'Llib', what a stupid name."

In the midst of Bill's unsolicited rambling, Dipper had gotten to his feet, dug through the desk drawers for a bandage, and wrapped it around his head to stop the bleeding.

Bill paused abruptly to admire Dipper's handiwork. His eye crinkled as he pinched the other's cheek. "You look adorable like that, Pine Tree." He ruffled a hand through Dipper's hair which was met with a pained grunt.

"What do you want now?" the young man groaned, straightening out his hair again.

"It's pretty late, kid, you know how I feel about insomniacs."

"So you came to force me into sleep." Dipper rolled his eyes.

"Actually, you did that yourself. Knocked yourself out pretty good on that end table." Bill checked his pocket watch. "You'll bleed out in a few hours if you don't wake up and actually put on those bandages soon."

"What? Dude, are you serious?" Dipper quickly reached to pinch his arm. Bill laughed hard and grabbed his torso.

"Fun fact, kid: that doesn't work," he said in a bright tone. "The idea is that if you feel no pain, you're asleep. It doesn't wake you up."

"But-"

"Anyway, you're gullible, Pine Tree! You're not gonna bleed out, but it will probably dry up in your hair so watch out for that."

"God, it really hap- what do you want, Bill?" Dipper snapped, forehead in hand.

"If you're gonna lose sleep over this dumb essay, you might as well do it right. I'm here to help!" Bill held himself proudly, looking very satisfied with himself. Dipper wasn't impressed. He sat back down in his chair and continued scrolling through the internet.

"Thanks but no thanks."

"Say what?"

"I appreciate the offer but I can do this on my own. I'm not a kid anymore, Bill. I don't have time to go on wild, life-risking adventures with you anymore. Besides, why do you want to help me anyway? I betrayed you. Shouldn't you be trying to get back at me?"

Bill crossed his arms, glaring at Dipper with disapproval. "I guess that scholarship doesn't really matter enough to you, does it? If you think you're gonna pass this on your own, you're wrong. Just ask your offspring if you don't believe me - it can see the future just as clearly as I can." Dipper stopped scrolling and leaned back in his chair with a dissatisfied groan. "I mean, if she's not as important as your pride I totally get it, kid, but I just figured-"

"Alright, alright, I get it." Dipper pushed back from his desk with a sigh and resigned. "What crazy thing are you gonna show me that's _magically_ gonna get me an A on my report?"

"Good choice, Pine Tree!" Bill grabbed Dipper's hand, causing the young man's heart to skip a beat. He swallowed hard. "I knew you couldn't possibly be stupid enough to pass this up. We're going someplace humans were never meant to go - the inter-dimensional void."


	8. Reality Can Be Changed

"The _what?_ " Dipper jerked his hand out of Bill's, face flushed red as a beet. Bill crossed his arms and lowered a glare on him. "I can't just up and leave to go to the edge of space-time with you! I mean, we were only supposed to be confidants, you know, what happened to that? A-And now you wanna take me to..."

Bill cut Dipper off by fabricating a bubble beside himself that depicted his wife and daughter sleeping peacefully next to each other in bed. The demon looked unmoved, resting his other hand against his side and staring at Dipper expectantly.

He let out a breath and balled his fists at his sides, returning Bill's glare with wavering resilience. This was going to go very badly.

"Fine," he huffed. "Let's go, but I have to be back before work. I still have responsibilities, you know."

"That's the spirit, kid!" The bubble at Bill's side burst into flames and dissipated. With a wickedly enthusiastic 'grin', he wrenched open the study door to reveal a hellish gateway of shrill squealing and polychromatic discord. Dipper was seeing new colours. "Come on, I know a shortcut." Bill moved into the chaotic passage and waited for the other to join him.

Dipper hesitantly followed his escort. As he stood at the edge of the study, he gave a nervous glance to Bill as if to ask if it were safe to walk though there was no visible ground. The demon rolled his eye in response, "come _on_ , kid." He made a swift teleport behind Dipper's back and shoved him forward, sending him plummeting and screaming through the endless expanse.

Colours raced past, swirling around him and enveloping him like a surfer who'd been wiped out by the sea. His throat quickly went raw from screaming at the top of his lungs. Nausea welled in his stomach from the chaotic display of searingly bright colours. It was just like one of Mabel's fantasies. When his breath had run out, he swallowed hard and muttered something unintelligible to himself. A prayer of sorts; or a curse, whichever meant he was hoping Bill would shatter into oblivion.

Of course, if you speak of the devil, he shall appear. What was left of Dipper's breath was tightened in his chest, his teeth grit and waiting for death of some sort. He peeked one eye open ever so slightly to measure his chances of surviving and to his wonder, Bill was hovering in front of him with crossed arms and a patient stare.

"Whenever you're ready, kid." _Wha-?_ He opened his eyes and looked around to see that all chaotic motion around him had slowed to a steady wave. And when he looked behind him, the door to the study was right there, he'd barely moved a foot from it and was still level with it, even.

"What... just happened?" he asked with chill bumps forming up and down his arms.

"Ever heard the phrase 'your mind is playing tricks on you'? Sure I'm behind that _most_ of the time, but what you just experienced is a little thing called abstract thought."

"Abstract thought?"

Bill wrapped an arm around Dipper's shoulder and escorted him through the dimension. "Before anyone sentient - humans, animals, artificial intelligence generators - can process real thoughts, they start out like this -" Bill explained in a tour-guide demeanor, " _utter madness!_ " His form shifted and glitched into pixelated discord (to add emphasis, of course) for a brief moment before he returned to normal and continued explaining, "This excludes those of us who have no thought before their actions - psychopaths, insomniacs (they may be easy to manipulate but do you even know how difficult it is to predict their actions? Omniscience only goes so far.), drug addicts, pyros, kleptos, and dads. You and I fall under those exclusions, see?"

"Okay, rude... But before I was a father, I managed to trick you multiple times back then."

"That's where you're wrong, brainiac. Shooting Star tricked me multiple times. Stan's mind, the puppet show - she's got no abstract thought either, that girl is all impulse. You tricked me once. And whether you like it or not, I'm categorizing that as a psychopath move under subcategory: sociopath. It takes a real prick to use someone for their own selfish desires. You and I are two of a kind."

"Maybe that's why we're always together, because no one else gets us like each other."

There was a remarkably long awkward silence before Dipper clued in to what he had just said.

"Shit! Did I say that out loud? Oh god, no - okay look, I didn't mean -"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about, Pine Tree. Speaking before thinking? You just made a great example of yourself." Dipper bit his lip hard, leaving tiny creases in the skin. His heart felt as if it were straining to beat. Cold chills washed over him, yet through it all Bill remained completely unchanged as if nothing he'd said even applied to him. On its own level, it was sociopathic. Dipper bit his tongue and didn't say anything more until they were out of the abstract thought dimension.

...

A field of whiteness lay ahead where the abstractness came to a gradual end. In the very center of his vision, Dipper could see a minute black dot. It must be the exit, Dipper thought, as far away as the eye could-

"Okay, we're here," Bill said. Dipper's thoughts were brought to a screeching halt as Bill reached forward and, with two fingers, grabbed the tiny door knob. He opened it wide and outward to reveal a full-sized door that made Dipper's head spin thinking about it. He decided not to.

What lie beyond was darkness. Pure, solid, unending darkness. Bill ushered Dipper along into the new plane. They walked in an uncomfortable silence headed seemingly nowhere, yet Bill never failed to appear as if he knew exactly what he was doing. This made Dipper ill at ease and his surroundings rendered him mute, but he watched the other wordlessly and repressed the admiration of Bill's undeniable confidence.

Slowly, tiny glimmers of light began to flicker into view. All around them, one-by-one, bubbles began to appear. Like any ordinary bubble, they reflected their rainbow sheen from the passing light of Bill's illuminating aura. Their glint took Dipper's breath as he gazed around at them in wonder. Though the demon was not visibly moved, he looked to Dipper and reveled in the awe written all over his naturally-skeptical face. He didn't have to be told what they were. And behind his inexpressive face, Bill was very much grinning. More so than usual.

"Careful!" Bill spoke up, "You let your spit trap hang open like that and you'll catch inter-dimensional space flies." He dusted himself off with a disgusted look that made Dipper snicker, "Sometimes they get in between these little crevices in my bricks and it is just a _pain_ to clean out. It's like getting them in your human teeth - or whatever." He shrugged and produced his cane to lean against as the pair gradually came to a full stop.

"So this is the edge of the universe," Dipper exhaled, heedless of anything the other said. Bill didn't bother correcting him. Captivated by the shimmering infinities of universes, the young man wandered around with amazement like a toddler in a candy store. As his eyes shifted from one cluster of bubbles to the next, he caught sight of a very out of place structure that sat squarely in the middle of everything (nothing?) and his eyes widened at the sight. It was a marvelous building that resembled a starfish with a giant globe-like dome in the middle. Though there were no light other than Bill's, the whole thing was illuminated from the inside out. "What's that?" he asked, pointing to the spectacle.

"Milliways. It's a high-end restaurant," Bill explained with mild disinterest.

"Can we... stop by?"

"It's really hard to get reservations there - believe me, I've tried. They say it's easy because you can book it before it even exists, but that's a load of nonsense because the only way to get reservations is to create an alternate universe where you already have reservations. That part was easy enough, but they don't like my kind there so my reservations were given to someone else less 'nightmare-y'."

"Oh," Dipper sighed.

"Sorry kid, maybe in a few quintillion years when times have changed, but for now, we have a science fair project to do! Let's shed a little light on the subject, shall we?" Bill did a double clap and with a flash of bright white light, the bubbles dispersed and spaced themselves out in massive, structured cube-like rows. In an instant, walls grew around them, and graffiti and billboards covered those walls. Sidewalks came into existance at their base, followed by street lights popping up from the concrete. Right before their eyes, an entire community appeared around them. They were two in a crowd of thousands. However, unlike any of the other innumerable amount of creatures, they were standing right in the middle of the road. Yes, the road. The actual non-matter road that actual non-matter cars were speeding down like blurs of colourful stardust. Bill had placed them directly in the middle of a four-way intersection. Billboards and advertisements flashed through hyperspace fast enough to cause seizures.

Dipper shrieked and frantically surveyed his surroundings. He felt his heart nearly jump out of his chest when a particularly clunky looking UFO-style car flew past, laser guns blazing, so close he could smell alcohol on the wind it produced. Half a dozen police vehicles followed suit in the next instant.

"Well well, where do you wanna start, Pine Tree?" Bill began. Dipper's eyes were wide when he turned to face Bill, made worse by his casual tone. The demon tapped his 'cheek' and looked in all directions at the street signs. "Should we head down Roiland Road, Sugar Street, Hirsch Highway - oh ho, as long as we're in the area, we should definitely visit the plaid museum! Ah, what people won't do for worship. I envy it, Pine Tree. It's gonna be me in a museum one day, I tell ya."

"Bill! Bill, this is crazy, we're gonna die!" Dipper wailed. He ran about in the intersection, looking for a gap in traffic that he could take advantage of to get onto the side walks, but it was no use. Traffic lights weren't a thing in this sub-existential community as cars flowed naturally and perfectly smooth with each other like a river. A faster-than-light-speed river.

"Relax kid, we're safe here as long as we don't step directly into oncoming traffic. Or run into a cop. Trust me, kid, you have no idea what prison here is like. But the way I see it -"

Bill's sentence was cut short by Dipper fiercely grabbing his shoulders and screaming into his face, "Bill!"

"Alright, sheesh!" the demon sighed as he snapped his fingers and the pair of them reappeared three meters to the right. Dipper swept a hand through his hair and leaned against the wall of a non-matter building behind him, feeling the tsunami of terror leave his being. "Killjoy."

After Dipper was done chewing Bill out and managed to get his stomach to stop doing flips, the pair made their way to an interdimensional bus stop where they climbed aboard a multiversal bus and traveled down Hirsch Highway.

Nothing could have prepared Dipper for what they found on that bus. Inhuman creatures, duplicates of his Great-Uncle Ford - some with a Bill, others with a Stanley, less with a McGucket, a few with Dippers, and on one rare occasion he saw his Great-Uncle Ford with Mabel. All of these varied wildly in ages.

But the most paralyzing thing was the rows upon rows of various Bills and Dippers from various dimensions lined the seats, each Bill doing something different to terrorize his Dipper or another Bill's Dipper. There were backseat fights, margarita glasses being thrown, traumatized Dippers rocking back and forth in their seats or even taking the place of their Bill and shredding another set of companions apart. Even the bus driver was a Bill.

Dipper's face went red, never did he think he would see so many Bills in one spot. He suddenly felt short of breath and wanted very desperately to back right back out of the bus. He backed up straight into his Bill who was already paying their toll - or more so negotiating it, if their loud arguing and maniacal laughter had anything to say for it - and Dipper took a moment to question whether or not he'd already lost his correct Bill. He swallowed hard and rubbed the back of his neck, eyes fixed on the ground.

"There are so many of you. I thought there was only one of you?" Dipper said, slowly inching more towards the door. Bill finished cheating Bus Driver Bill out of his gold and turned to put an arm around his Dipper.

"Oh please, there isn't even one 'God', and you think the multiverse would only make one of me? Too many suckers to scam, kid." As Bill led Dipper down the bus aisle, Bus Driver Bill slithered an extended arm into Bill's newly materialized back pocket and relieved him of the gold he had almost successfully been scammed of, snickering as he retracted it back and into his own pocket. "Too many suckers and too many dreams to destroy. Why, everything would be absolutely devoid of chaos without me! Who could live in such a place?"

Dipper eyed a seat next to one of his Great Uncle Fords, but the Dipper on the other side of him looked utterly vicious - he bared his teeth at him the moment he laid eyes on his uncle, he then jerked the elder's arm around his shoulders and seethed with jealousy. A blush settling on his cheeks, Dipper averted his eyes and cleared his throat.

He and Bill sat down in a two-seater near the rear of the bus behind a set of inhuman creatures the likes of which Dipper never thought he'd see in his life, even in fiction, and in front of parallels of themselves with what appeared to be flipped personalities.

Dipper took the window seat while Bill sat next to the isle. The bus drew out into the road at hyper speed and bound them towards alternate realities.

Chaos on the bus never ceased. Ill at ease, Dipper had been sheepishly glancing around and ended up making eye contact with the relatively frail-looking Bill behind him who wore gold bangles around his wrists and had a diamond studded bowtie. He looked pretty, Dipper thought, but before he could even finish wondering why that Bill was blinged out like that, his throat suddenly felt suffocatingly tight. Fear shot through him as he bolted up to find burly hands gripping his neck just about tight enough to strangle him. He desperately pried at them while an almost alien voice screamed straight into his ear.

"You keep your eyes off my Bill, you little punk!" Burly Dipper boomed, giving the smaller one a rough shake. "He's not interested in a runt like you!" Dipper flailed and struggled to free himself.

"I-I'm not! I was just-" he gasped, finding it difficult to speak with no breath in his lungs. Just as a staticy blackness crept into the edges of his vision, Bill - his Bill - clamped a hand down onto Burly Dipper's wrist and gifted him with a couple hundred amps of electricity. When he let go, so did Burly Dipper, with a yelp, and he was left with a charred black handprint-shaped burn scar. Bill crossed his arms and looked expectant of an apology.

"Ah! What the fuck man, not cool!" Burly Dipper whined, gripping his singed wrist in pain.

"Not cool?" Dipper retorted, taking deep, gasping breaths, "You nearly killed me!"

"Keep your puny eyes off my Bill then, kid!"

"I wasn't even looking at him like that!"

"Dipper, it's not worth it," Frail Bill intervened, "Leave the poor guy alone."

Burly Dipper lowered his voice to his Bill, "Listen Cipher, you have to take charge of the situation or punks, whether they're big or small, will walk all over you."

A few moments of arguing and Frail Bill not listening to his more assertive half, and the gentler demon turned to Dipper and Bill with a heartfelt apology.

"Sorry about him, he doesn't know when to quit," he said. Dipper was too busy staring at the way his long, half-mast eyelashes complimented his jewelry to respond. Burly Dipper was glaring scornfully.

"Yeah yeah, just keep your Dipper in line. Not every Bill is as generous as me; you'll get into some real trouble." At this point, the two pairs went back to minding their own business and Dipper made sure to keep his head down the rest of the trip. Noticing Dipper looked sullen, Bill pulled up the bus seat cushion beside him and turned with a jolly arm swing to his companion, "Don't look so down, kid! Let's play bus seat bingo! That's what you and Shooting Star used to do, right?" He glanced under the seat. "Let's see, there's a lost bowtie, five deer teeth, a gold nugget - I'll take that..."

When they came to their stop, they climbed out of the bus along with three other Bill/Dipper pairs and one Bill all on his own.

Dipper stuck very close to his Bill after that little incident back there. If he'd been paying attention, he might have caught the tiny snide snicker that left Bill when he drew in as close as possible to him. But Bill placed a hand on top of the other's head and ruffled his hair.

"Stick close, kid," he said, playing into Dipper's fears.

Bill decided the most efficient way to show Pine Tree all the differences between dimensions was to take him through realities related by universe type, starting with parallel. The easiest way for him to process similarities and differences was to start small.

Dipper watched with awe and wonder as Bill put in the geographic coordinates they wished to be placed at upon entry; Milky Way galaxy, Earth, North America, United States, Oregon, Gravity Falls - _ding!_

"POSITION LOCATED. WELCOME TO DIMENSION 83/B!" A robotic voice echoed.

The demon pulled his companion through the glossy walls of the dimensional bubble and into a world strikingly similar to their own. Dipper momentarily doubted Bill's validity. In the next moment, however, these thoughts were put to rest when he caught sight of the Mystery Shack.

A tree. It was a tree. A massive, knurled oak tree with acorns the size of smart cars. The funny old falling-apart sign hung from one of its many branches and in place of the Pitt Cola machine out front was a mineral water vending machine. Opposite of that rested what appeared to be a trough of sorts.

"Where are we?" Dipper uttered out of reflex. Bill responded with a smack upside his head. "Ow!" He rubbed the spot where Bill had hit. "What was that for?"

"Can't you hear, Pines? It's dimension 83/b!" Dipper bit his tongue and decided not to respond to the obvious slander.

A familiar face appeared in his peripherals. Exiting the much-more-of-a-tree-than-usual version of the Mystery Shack was the Dipper of this dimension. The pair of them watched until he fully emerged with the company of his sister. Dipper's jaw went slack and his eyes practically popped of of his head. They were centaurs! Or perhaps _deer_ taurs would be a more appropriate term. Deertaur Dipper had smallish antlers protruding from his head and Mabel had a beautiful horn parting her hair. Her tail was different to his too, it was longer with a tuft of brown hair at the end. She looked like a cross breed between a deer and a unicorn, but something didn't quite add up there.

"Hey, Pony Pines!" Bill called out suddenly. Before Dipper could stop him, he was jetting towards the parallels with a jovial twang in his voice.

The deertaur twins gasped on sight, the Dipper instinctively pushing himself in front of Mabel with protective intentions. His ears were pointed all the way forward and he held up his fists.

"Bill?" Deertaur Mabel said from behind him. She put her hands over her brother's head and stood up on his hind legs to see over him. "You're so much more of a triangle than usual!"

Bill stopped in front of them and straightened his bowtie.

"Thanks. In some realities back home, I'm a circle, but I'm way more of a prick like that which I personally think-"

"Sorry!" Dipper said, interrupting his Bill as he grabbed the demon and pushed him out of the frame. "He's with me! Don't worry about him causing any trouble or anything, 'cause y'know I know it's _Bill_ , but I swear this he won't-"

"Pine Tree, don't be so rude!" Bill scolded, forcing himself back into the picture. "I was _trying_ to introduce myself!"

Deertaur Dipper came out of defensive and approached Dipper curiously, "You're human, right?"

"Yeah. And you're a centaur?"

Both Dippers sychronetically howled with excitement, making Mabel and Bill recoil with nausea at their dorky-ness.

"This is so cool!" they both exclaimed. Deertaur Dipper's ears were perked to the sky and Dipper was standing on his toes with stars twinkling in his eyes.

"What's the Bill of this dimension like? Why is Mabel different to you? Is Grunkle Stan a deer too? What about Wendy?"

"Is everyone a human in your dimension? Why is Bill a floating geometric shape? Do your people live in castles or hobbit holes? What does Wendy look like in your world?"

They went on gushing like that without giving answers, or even listening to each other, for a full minute until the Bill of this dimension came along to crash the party.

"47/a! What a treat to see you here! What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

Deertaur Dipper went a ghostly white while Dipper went a cherry red. Bill was human. He was a flesh and blood human being dressed in a flashy gold and black suit with a hunting rifle draped over his shoulders and hanging from his back.

Bill stretched his arm out and encircled his human counterpart, bringing him flying over as he retracted his appendage with a _snap_.

"Oh, you know, a certain Pine Tree can never seem to live without me," he chuckled, giving the human Bill a low-five.

"Bill!" Deertaur Dipper grunted, lowering his head and threatening him with his antlers.

"What've I always told you, cottontail? Don't bring knives to a gun fight," Human Bill snickered, tapping the barrel of his gun.

"This is surreal," Dipper mumbled. He ran a hand through his bangs as he tried to process all this new information.

"This is just the beginning. Wait 'til I show you the dimension where you and unicornio over there are demons like me. That Bill is a flesh stick too."

"I would just like to point out that I'm still _transitioning_ to a unicorn, thanks," Deertaur Mabel interjected. "Not quite there yet," she chuckled, "the tail is all new, but as you can see it still needs to grow out." She wiggled her slender nub of a tail with pride. "And eventually my fur will change colours, but the doctors say that could take a few more years. I'm not worried about it though, I can just dye it in the mean time." Deertaur Dipper had a smile on him that spoke volumes about how happy he was for his sister's decision of self discovery.

"This is amazing!" Dipper said, "I wish I had some way I could write all this down!"

As if reflexive to his command, Mabel's horn shimmered and shot out a bolt of magic that produced a spiral notebook. It was very... Mabel, indeed. The whole thing was pink, blue, and white with glitter glue writing that spelled out 'Nerdy Thoughts of Dipper Pines!'. Regardless, Dipper loved it very much. A grin spread from ear to ear as he thanked his interdimensional sister profusely for her gift.

"Oh, wait wait! It comes with a pen too." Another glint of her horn and she also produced a pine tree shaped, blue ballpoint pen. "It's chew-proof!"

Dipper gushed a stream of thank yous as he furiously scribbled down everything he had witnessed thus far.

His new journal distracted him the rest of the time they remained in that dimension wherein Deertaur Dipper sat with him to talk about Werewolf Wendy in comparison to Human Wendy and the Bills stood around complimenting each other on their style choices.

When it came time for them to leave, they waved their goodbyes and Bill took them back through the portal and moved onto the next parallel.

"Oh my gosh, Bill, that was incredible!" Dipper squealed with overwhelming excitement. "It's like, completely unbelievable that there could actually be a place in this world where there are _centaur_ versions of yourself - o-oh, and you! Wow, you were human! You had two eyes and everything! I-It looked like one of them was blind though, which is incredible because things like that translate over all these different realities? Man, this is exciting!" Bill laughed at his child-like enthusiasm.

"Kid if you think that's wild, phew boy are you in for the ride of a lifetime!"

With Bill's hand on Dipper's shoulder, the demon escorted him down the hallways of the apartment-esque building housing all the different universes until they came to a door that Bill smirked cruelly at.

He said nothing, but entered the room and right away began punching in their destination. Dipper was bouncing up and down on his toes. Bubbles were rising and bursting rapidly in his chest. He could hardly contain his own giddiness!

"POSITION LOCATED," the universe chimed. "WELCOME TO-" Dipper couldn't wait for the introduction. He lunged straight into the glossy bubble and popped out into a greyscale world. Once again, he found himself outside the Mystery Shack in the same location as the last world. Bill entered the world with greatly less energy as he was used to traveling between dimensions.

"Alright, kid, let's go find the action," Bill began. He was glancing around the familiar world when he turned back to see his Dipper already off running into the dimension with fierce curiosity fueling his jet engines.

Dipper's brand new journal was being gripped tightly in his left arm while his pen was held in place by his right ear. He sprinted straight into the Mystery Shack with little hesitance, bursting through the front door to find an entirely different world to his own.

All along the walls were folksy knickknacks like little wooden bears carved from redwood that said 'ya'll come back now' and plaques with fish that had push-to-play buttons set to 'try me' where they would surely sing some sort of country tune. Next to those, in a very contrasting and out of place fashion, were plastic boxes containing glittery disco balls attached to a pole that played 'Disco Girl' as said on the packaging and assortments of hoop earrings in all styles one could imagine from wide circles to dream-catchers.

"Huh?" Dipper dropped his shoulders and studied his surroundings further. The usually rickety stairs up to the attic had a red shag rug lined up them and the railing was made of stainless steel instead of the splintery log he was used to. The entire place felt more alien than he was prepared for. "Who exactly lives here?" he wondered aloud.

The young man wandered around the house until he came across a hauntingly familiar, yet scarily foreign, face.

"Dipper!" an accented voice scornfully greeted. It was Gideon. Gideon Gleeful. Suddenly he felt nauseous.

"Gideon?" he questioned. It was unmistakable, but he was the faintest bit unsure upon seeing the way his childhood rival was dressed. Instead of that funky pantsuit he typically wore back home, the other was dressed casually in a light blue vest and black undershirt, which scarily resembled the way Dipper used to dress back then. He even had the hat, except instead of a pine tree, a polychromatic five-pointed star was printed on its front.

"What're ya'll doin' here? And why're you dressed like that? You think you can fool me? I know all yer tricks! I'll defeat you like I did years ago!" Gideon shouted, putting up two fists at him. "I don't care if you have got Cipher on yer side, Paz and I will show ya'll what for!"

"Paz?"

A loud crash came from upstairs, followed by a series of thumps suggesting panicked footsteps.

"Gideon!" A greatly more posh-sounding voice called out, a voice Dipper would recognize anywhere. His heart skipped a beat, fluttering with momentary joy. The stairs clattered behind him and in another instant, a very colourful Pacifica appeared in the doorway. "I just saw Bill outside and he's like, _yellow_ or something!" she blurted before realizing who she was standing in front of. The clothing must have thrown her off because she nearly jumped out of her skin when she noticed who she was shouting to. "Ah! Pines!" she shrieked, unleashing a heavy punch prior to registering the situation.

"Ow!" Dipper yelped as he crashed backward to the floor. Gideon and Pacifica stood over him, glaring, with their dukes up. "Bill!" he cried out. On command, the demon fabricated himself into the room. He adjusted his bowtie for effect.

"Cipher!" Gideon spat, "Don't think you can-"

"Relax Gleefuck, I'm only here to show my Dipper around."

"We're from dimension 47/a," Dipper explained.

"Don't fret, Pine Tree, your counterpart here is more or less of a power monger."

"You mean like, a reverse parallel?"

"Sure, po-tay-to - po-tah-to."

"Uh... wha-"

"So you ain't that high-falootin' Pines twin who nearly destroyed our beautiful weird town?" Gideon asked, letting Dipper up from where he was pinned.

Before Dipper had the chance to respond, Bill changed the subject.

"He-hey, listen! The Bill in this dimension is a total loser, lets go show him hell!" The demon grabbed Dipper by the wrist and dragged him back out the front door with the Gleeful and Northwest kids following suit.

They ventured across town to the Tent of Telepathy. It had a line that extended down the street forever and a surrounding crowd as boisterous as a rodeo (Gideon's words). The 'tent' had undergone massive upgrades in its time and was now a full blown stage with its own real-estate and concession stands. It was kinda gross.

But sure enough, Dipper and Mabel Gleeful/Northwest-Pines were on stage suckering people out of their money with foux magical items or trinkets with very weak magical properties. Bill seemed to be enjoying himself throwing shade at their livelyhood, which Dipper secretly found a little funny and charming. After he had his fill of slandering the poor design of their business, he, Dipper, Gideon, and Pacifica all found themselves surprised at the happenings on stage.

Another group of interdimensional travelers were already there! 'Normal' doppelgangers of Dipper, Mabel, and Bill were on stage having what looked like a battle. Perhaps there was some beef between them, but regardless, the Bill of that dimension was absolutely tormenting the Bill of this dimension.

"Pine Tree, that's Llib," Bill pointed out with a chuckle. He broke into a full on fit of giggles and then wiped a tear from his eye. "He goes by that to make himself seem less lame, but it just makes it worse. Everyone just calls him Will."

"Will?"

"Because calling him Bill would be an insult to the rest of us _real_ Bills."

The group made their way through the crowd to get a closer look at the action. The battle seemed to be somewhat of a display of power to the respective duplicates. Doppelganger Bill was laughing maniacally and throwing bolts of lightening relentlessly at his reverse parallel, Will was dodging them completely with terrified shrieks of fear. Dipper Gleeful had doppelganger Dipper suspended upside down with the power of his telepathy gem, and the Mabels were competeing in... mini golf. On stage.

Somehow, Dipper couldn't find himself surprised.

Bill cheered on his 'normal' doppelganger, spitting insults at Will in his feat.

"T-This i-i-is really c-cruel, Bill!" Will stammered as he evaded strikes of lightening.

"'Cruel' is forcing me to listen to that stutter of yours," the other Bill said. "I mean, it's _insulting_."

"You call yourself a Bill?" 47/a Bill interjected. "It's not just insulting, it's embarrassing!"

The performance stopped. Everyone turned to look at Bill in complete silence. Dipper flushed over with his own embarrassment and hid his face below his hands.

"Oh, like you all weren't thinking the same," he continued.

Another moment of silence.

"A _men_ to that!" other Bill said eventually, with a short laugh.

"Yeah, he gets it! He gets it," Bill chuckled as well.

"Y-y-you know what's e-embarrassing, 47/a-a? A-a-a-at least I-I'm not a dirty s-soul mu-muncher!" Will retorted, mustering all his bravery to finally stand up for himself. Other Bill cupped a hand around his theoretical mouth and _ooooo_ 'ed loudly.

" _What?!_ " In a flash, flames ignited around Bill and he turned a fiery hot red. He started to lunge forward to attack him, but Dipper threw his arms around the demon and caught him in the nick of time, leaving Bill a flailing mess of punches and kicks. "Let me at him! Let me at him!" he thundered in that unholy voice he sometimes did.

"Yeah, okay I think it's time to go, Bill. Sorry, everyone, we'll just be leaving!" The young man excused them both and carried Bill back to the direction of their portal. He had stopped wriggling, but with the squint of his eye, Bill cast an ignition curse that lit Will's hat and bowtie on fire. His sinister laugh was drowned out by Will's screaming.

Dipper tossed Bill out of the portal, making the demon land face-flat on the ground. He stepped out behind him and heaved a relieved sigh.

"That... didn't go well," he stated, pulling out his journal and writing down everything that had transpired. Bill picked himself up off the floor and dusted himself off. He stood on the floor with his hands rested on his hips, looking up to his companion.

"Lighten up, kid. Haven't you ever gotten a sick laugh out of making fun of someone else?"

"What? I-I've never..."

Bill imitated a flawless Dipper voice, "'Make Thompson do it!'" Then used his normal voice, "'Nice use of Thompson, Dipper!' Oh, yeah, you're a real saint, kid." Bill crossed his arms, he lifted off the ground again to meet eye-to-eye with Dipper. He had that cheeky crinkle in his eye like he always had when he thought he was hot shit. Dipper rubbed an arm guiltily and sported a tiny smile.

"Shut up, man. That was once!"

"Oh yeah? How about when you used the growth crystal to make yourself taller than your sister, ey Pines?"

Dipper pushed Bill away playfully and ran out the door laughing. Bill slipstreamed behind him, continuing to spout out with times Dipper had been less than innocent.

Bill showed Dipper one last parallel before they would move on. In this world, Dipper found that he and Mabel were like Bill - beings of energy with non-physical powers, and they took on the form of a pine tree and a shooting star. He complimented Pixel Mabel's glittering rainbow in the way it was less stagnant and more flowy with her movements. When she flew, it left a trail of light behind her. Pixel Dipper whispered to him that it made her really terrible at hide-and-seek.

Human Bill in this dimension was very cynical about being a human being. It seemed he wanted to be out of his flesh body more than anything - to have ultimate, unlimited powers. The one time he inherited Dipper's powers, he nearly destroyed the entire world within a few hours. But since then, he's tried many times still to trick them into giving up their powers again.

When they left this dimension, Bill said to Dipper he felt a lot better about being a demon after meeting them. As if Bill needed his ego to be any larger; but the way his light glowed even brighter as he said that, that just about made Dipper's heart melt.

They were back on the streets again after that, following the sidewalks further downtown. Wherever they were going, Bill would know the way in this organized chaos. They passed so many creatures that defied all Earth logic that Dipper could not pull his nose out of his journal the entire way. His heart felt light, his entire body felt rejuvenated like he was twelve years old again. Bill had an arm draped around the young man's shoulder as they walked and Dipper was so engrossed in this wonderful experience that he hardly even noticed what exactly was the problem with that.

"So let me get this straight..." he began.

"Shoot," said Bill.

Dipper cleared his throat, "'Parallel universes: have features identical to those in our reality, have differences that only change arbitrary things such as appearances or personalities that would not affect major life decisions,' yadda yadda... 'People that are dead in our universe cannot be alive in a parallel universe, or vice versa, or otherwise it is what is classified as a daughter universe.' Am I right so far?"

"Sure, kid, but one point - parallel and daughter universes are mutually exclusive. It can't be both. That's important, you should probably mention that."

"Good idea, thanks!" Dipper wrote this down as fast as his hand could move while still making it legible.

As he wrote, Bill led him into their next destination. This building was much, much larger than the last. It was like a sky scraper that stretched up as far as the eye could see, and the amount of them there were continuing on down the road would have been dizzying had Dipper looked up.

Daughter universes were no joke. There were more of them than parallel, and that accounts for the fact that the multiverse is infinite both ways. Bill explained this to Dipper as they advanced down the halls.

When he finished writing and tucked his journal back underneath his arm, Dipper looked up with an optimistic smile spread across his face and stopped in his tracks.

"Let's go for it," he said, turning toward the first door at his left and latching onto the knob. He was rocking back and forth from his heels to his toes.

Bill glanced at the sign and scoffed, "Suit yourself."

This time, Dipper took the honor of putting the location into the coordinate machine.

"POSITION LOCATED," it gonged. Dipper made a tiny squeak of excitement and in response, Bill ruffled his hair. "WELCOME TO SUB DIMENSION 78/A."

"Wait," Dipper hesitated, "'sub dimension'?" he questioned to Bill. The demon took his hand - a gesture that suddenly made Dipper's heart stop. His breath hitched in his chest and a blush fell over his face. Whatever Bill was about to say was not going to reach the young man's deafened ears.

"Just another word for a daughter universe, don't think about it too much," he shrugged and led the other into the universe.

A rush of air blew through Dipper's dark hair as they stepped through into an overcast world, his eyes never left the connection between the two of them.

Bill's hand...

It was just like he remembered.

That unique staticky mana that coursed just below the demon's surface reverberated through his veins. It was warm and sent shivers down his back. _Being of pure energy_ , he recalled in his mind.

Dipper could feel his heart pounding in his throat. He swallowed hard the frog that had lept up into there. His chest tightened. He released a breath of air that he hadn't realized he was holding.

 _Bill's hand!_

A nervous grin crept onto his face without permission. His palms started sweating, making their link slick.

"Pine Tree!" Bill shouted, finally tapping into Dipper's trance.

"Huh? What? Oh man, sorry, I-I was..."

"Yeesh kid, get a _grip_!" he punctuated that sentence with a pulse of strength to his grip on the other's hand. He then released Dipper's hand and put both hands on his 'hips'. "This place is a dump!" he declared, gesturing to the Mystery Shack in it's redefined glory.

Oh boy. This place had 'Mabel' written all over it.

Literally.

The letters from the Mystery Shack's sign had been refitted with ones that read, "Mabel's Shack of Fun!" in big, glittery, neon-illuminated letters. The building itself had two or three more floors added onto it. Where Mabel had gotten the means to do that brought the mystery back to the shack.

The whole thing had been painted in various colours, mostly pink and purple, and the balconies all had string lights draped from them. Which Dipper was pretty sure was a massive fire hazard.

"This is a nightmare right out of Mabel's dream bubble, and if I couldn't see past illusions, I'd swear that's where we were," Bill ridiculed as he pressed forward to the building. Dipper followed reluctantly.

It was like something from _Snow White_ \- woodland animals surrounded the perimeter of the entire place, scampering and prancing merrily.

"Ugh, hold on, Pine Tree." Bill suddenly stopped and grabbed his gut. He materialized a trash bin next to him and vomited nightmares into it, which Dipper only knew because centipedes and beetles crawled out over the rim of the bin, souls flew out of it screaming and disappeared into oblivion, and shadows spilled out like fog over one side. When he'd purged the entire contents of his horror bladder, the bin vanished and the demon doubled over to the ground flat on his back. An X had replaced his pupil. Dipper giggled, rubbing the back of his neck. His face felt hot. Bill was really something else.

After the demon regained his composure, the pair ventured on inside, which turned out to be significantly worse than outside. Bill gagged, making Dipper laugh again.

A tired-sounding voice spoke out, "Welcome to Mabel's Shack of Fun," it monotoned. "For liability reasons, we ask that you do not feed th- oh god." The clerk behind the counter suddenly ducked down and hid from view. "W-We're not open!" they said in a different, counterfeit voice.

Bill glided over the counter and grabbed the employee by the collar of his shirt. The young man hid his face behind his hands, but it was Dipper. He was garbed in a split colour pink and blue shirt and wore a headband with two little bunny heads attached to springs sticking off of it. His name tag read, "Hi! Welcome to Mabel's Shack of Fun! My name is: 'Don't Ask.'"

"Dipper?" Dipper inquired to his counterpart. The employee removed the hands from his face and sighed just about hard enough to blow them away.

"Look, I refuse to serve _his_ kind here." He pointed upward to Bill who still had a grasp on his collar.

"Believe it or not, I'm not exactly brimming with tears over that," the demon retorted.

"What happened to you?" Dipper asked the employee, taking out his pen and journal to record his response.

"What do you mean what happened to me? I've never been better," he huffed, crossing his arms.

"Yeah..." Dipper pronounced slowly, "I'm sure. But, uh, when did the Mystery Shack become-"

"Become this mess?" Employee Dipper finished with another sigh. "I've got nothing against the way Mabel wants to run things, I mean, she did win the bet with Stan after all, but where exactly things went wrong? I couldn't tell you."

"But what about Soos? This place should belong to him right?"

"I've had a lot of duplicates of myself come through here, some with our Great Uncle Ford and some with Grunkle Stan, but they all say this place belongs to someone different. In this world, The Shack belongs to Mabel, alright?"

"Great Uncle Ford... Hey! Hey, um, did you by chance take that apprenticeship with him? Could that have been the-"

"No. Mabel was way too upset at the thought, and I couldn't so something like that to her."

"Hey, Pine Trees," Bill inserted, " _crazy idea_ , but how about _not_ doing what Shooting Star says all the time."

The Dippers both spoke protested at the same time, talking over each other.

"I don't! Mabel had a problem with you and me, Bill, but obviously I didn't listen to here (where I maybe should have)."

"I could never turn her down. She gets those big watery puppy dog eyes and it just kills me to see her cry, so that's out of the question. I can't stand it when she doesn't look me in the face."

"Yeah, I think I found your problem, Dipstick," Bill said, jiggling the collar of the employee Dipper. The young man in his grasp then swatted away Bill's hand and stood up on his own.

"So you're saying," Dipper began, pointing the end of his pen at the Dipper behind the counter, "that if I never said no to Mabel, he would be me? O-or I'd be him? Or whatever?"

"Bingo."

"That's ridiculous," Employee Dipper denied, rolling his eyes. "I mean, I know she doesn't always have my best interest in mind, but she's my sister!"

"You're right, kid, you're right," said Bill, floating back over to his own Dipper. "Maybe I'm wrong. But as I seem to recall, she's a bit selfish isn't she? I mean, you do _so much_ for her, but when does she ever return the favour to you?"

"She gave me this job! She wouldn't just have me out on the streets, we look out for each other!"

"Right right, she gave you the job that she created by inheriting the Mystery Shack from your Great Uncle Stanley when she beat him in a bet. The, might I add _demeaning_ , job that she created for you because you turned down the offer your Great Uncle Stanford gave to you when she ran off sobbing about you considering it." Bill exhaled dramatically, puffing out the cheeks he had just for the occasion. (It looked strange to see cheeks puff out around a space that didn't even have a mouth.) "My apologies, P.T., I was wrong."

"Get out, okay? Just leave. This is why I refuse your kind, man. It's not like I can change the past anyway, so just shut up and leave!"

"Whatever you say, kid." Bill swung his arms joyously, sporting that 'shit eating' grin in his eye, and left The Shack in a rush, causing the door to swing shut behind him.

Dipper shook his head solemnly and made for the door. He stopped in the doorway and turned back to his counterpart.

"I understand what it's like man. Not listening to her has gotten me in some bad places too, but it's not too late. It's never to late to have a second chance." And with that, he left. A few silent moments hung in the air, but then Employee Dipper smiled and took off his bunny headband.

Out of the portal and bound to the next world, Dipper and Bill stuck side-by-side, hand-in-hand.

"That was a bit harsh back there, don't you think?"

"The truth is often harsh, but it's reality, Dipper. If you can't handle it - well, then you change it."

"Change it..." Dipper murmured to himself. He smiled lightly. "Bill, did you change your reality?"

Bill slowed to a stop. Dipper did too. The sounds of indistinct chattering and doors opening and closing around them from various other travelers were the only things breaking the silence between them. They stood in the middle of the hallway. Bill seemed blank, but contemplative, as he stared into space.

"Bill?" Dipper inquired.

"Yeah."

"I was just ask-"

"Yeah, I did change my reality." Bill breathed heavily. He took off his hat and swiped an arm across his pinnacle. "I've never told anyone this, Pines, so, y'know, count yourself lucky." He placed his hat back on his head and took Dipper's hand once again. They walked slowly down the hall as Bill spoke, "My dimension isn't a great place, kid. Why do you think I was willing to do anything it took to get out of there?" He produced a margarita glass out of thin air and a shaker that also spawned from nothing tipped its contents into the glass. Bill took a long swig. "Where I come from, the laws of physics are much different than you know it. Some universes are like that," he said, making a gesture that Dipper should write that down. He did. "The same way you couldn't imagine moving in 4D, no one from where I'm from could ever imagine moving in 3D. Look at me, Pine Tree, I'm two-dimensional."

"Not entirely. The brim of your hat goes all the way around. And your eye-"

"Wasn't always that way. Forward, backward, left, and right. Up and down don't exist. But there was this real wise-guy who theorized those laws could be bent. I mean, he was a nut-job to the rest of the world, but you know what? I got sick of the way things were. When you don't have much to live for, Pines, your moral sense rots. You start to wonder if there really is a way to change things - if there is a god, if the multiverse theory is true, if you're _really_ as insignificant as they tell you."

Dipper listened with unwavering attention. The notes he was taking mere bullet points.

"Triangles are a stupid shape, Pine Tree."

"Bill-"

"Triangles are as dumb as they come. We're the blondes of the geometric world. We're like pearls, like meeseeks - something only as useful as they look, and as the simplest shape in the laws of polygons, that's not very much."

"But your powers?"

"All of that came later. I was once as useless as you, believe it or not," Bill explained with a melancholy laugh. "I was nothing more than one in a metric billion."

Suddenly, he turned to his companion, hovering just in front of him and still moving as they pressed forward.

"But things can change, Dipper. You read books, you practice necromancy and black magic, you let beings possess you in order to gain knowledge and power, and you _destroy all who say you can't_."

The pair stopped once again. Dipper felt his blood run cold.

"For the first time, you move into the third dimension. Your universe begins to tear and decay because physics have been rearranged and the world can't handle that, but you have power. Magic begins to eat away at your physical being and you become light. You find a new place to live, a place where the third dimension exists and you can be who you truly are. And yet, there are still those insolent fools who say you're kidding yourself; because you're a triangle. You're a stupid and useless triangle that can't accept reality. And you know what, Pine Tree? That's never going to change. I'm never going to be anything but a triangle to those people. And to some, I'm never going to be anything but a fleshfucker and a soulmuncher. But to those who can see who I really am? I'm Bill Cipher."

His voice deepened. His hues darkened. His aura chilled.

"I'm Bill fucking Cipher. I'm a demon of the mind, as per my will, and I can see into the third dimension. And the fourth, and the fifth, sixth, seventh... and I find the human mind stupid and fascinating, souls delicious, and reality an absolute joke. There is nothing I can't do, no one I can't prove wrong, and I won't let anyone or anything _ever_ take that away from me!"

Complete silence. Not a soul in the room made a single sound. Everyone had stopped and was staring at them.

Dipper dared not even breathe. He could hear his blood coursing in his ears.

This was the real Bill.

His heart thumped.

He finally knew. After all these years, he finally knew Bill's origin.

It thumped again, harder.

"Bill..." he spoke softly.

His hands were as cold as ice, but his palms were sweating something fierce.

"Pine Tree," the demon remarked.

Silence drew a box around them, encasing them both in their own little world where no one else existed.

A slight hum emanated from Bill's body; it was the dull roar of mana flowing under his exterior.

Dipper stepped closer to Bill, closing the gap between them. He put his hands on the demon's shoulders. Bill stared back at him, never blinking.

And then...

A kiss.

Dipper's lips feathered three short times on Bill's forehead, before they came to a rest against that distantly familiar spot just below his eye. That sweet and salty taste of Bill's non-physical bricks against his lips with the staticky tingling that left him breathless. He collapsed into the kiss, relishing the memory of what it was like all those years ago and he never thought he'd feel it ever again. God it was... it was something sweeter than heaven itself. Nothing else existed, nothing else mattered but this, right here, right now.

And Bill...

It took him an eternity in seconds, but he kissed back. Wrapping his arms around his Pine Tree like there was no one else in the whole wide world.

Reality can be changed.


	9. Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

Things were going exactly according to plan. And things were looking up! In the beginning, he wasn't sure if things would work out, because trust had been shattered and tensions were high, but the tides were changing and the day ahead of them looked bright.

They were on a 'date' now.

Not really a date because Dipper was married and also fathered a newborn infant, but it was sorta like a date. A pseudo-date. And he still had his project to do, technically, so there was that too.

Weirdmageddon was a success and Dipper stayed with Mabel in her dream bubble - Bill had plenty of fun visiting this place. The Bill from that dimension was identical to himself in every way, but Dipper had ultimately been lured in by the fake Wendy (not that he didn't see it coming, but he simply took Mabel's advice and resigned to live in feigned peace forever as long as he and his sister were safe). Dipper slayed the multibear for the manotaurs and stayed with their clan for the rest of that summer. In that particular universe, Dipper's alter ego was ripped. Mabel married Mermando impulsively and was now trapped in a failing relationship, Dipper accepted Ford's apprenticeship and fell into a pit of madness yet success as well, Bill and Ford never broke up and teamed up to become literal gods - Bill didn't care to stay in that particular dimension too long.

He and Dipper traveled through a variety of daughterverses. There were so many to choose from they ended up just going door to door to further randomize their experience. Dipper's journal was brimming with notes and doodles that would all end up somewhere in his report.

In nine whole years, he'd not felt more alive than he did in these past hours he spent with Bill. They explored countless wonders and Dipper laughed at all the twisted things Bill did, just like old times. It felt like home.

"Okay okay," Dipper said with a residual laugh from the last world they'd been into - a world in which Mabel had been Bill's manipulative choice instead and she had him bending to her every command in order for him to get what he wanted. Dipper's Bill did a lot of his own tormenting of her Bill. The resulting fight somehow ended up being a musical number and the whole thing was just a straight up experience. "Let's see what this next one has to offer and then we can go to that silly plaid museum you're so in love with!"

"Once you see that place, Pines, you'll be in love with it too," Bill remarked as Dipper logged in their destination to the system. "I don't know when you got so into flannel but I've seen your wardrobe. You're not foolin' anyone, kid!"

"Yeah sure, if you say so, Mr. All-Seeing-Eye. I'm sure I'll be just _thrilled_ ," he snickered. Bill rolled his eye and roughly pushed the other forward into the portal.

Out of a portal flew Dipper, who immediately met face-first with a wardrobe door. The impact forced it open for him to then fall flat on the concrete floor. Bill came speeding through next without a trouble. Once in the room, he took a moment to laugh at Dipper's misfortune, but in the meantime, completely missed the giant pendulum axe swinging through the room and soon found himself in pieces against the wall with a clean split down his middle and having to regenerate his single eye.

Dipper got a kick out of that one, himself.

The young man stood up and dusted himself off as he gazed around the room. It was absolutely chock-full of torture instruments from the medieval age. The creepiest of them all was the iron maiden in the corner of the room, with its spikes withdrawn and its doors open wide; welcoming. Terrifying.

Once Bill had recomposed himself (still in the process of regenerating his eye though), he carried himself over to Dipper and alighted on his shoulder, shrinking a bit in size to fit and swearing under his breath about his eye.

"Hm, that's strange. I could have sworn I put in the same coordinates. Maybe I mistyped when you _shoved me through the portal!_ "

"Oh boo-hoo."

"This place gives me the creeps, but I can't help feeling like I know it somehow," said Dipper as he rubbed the back of his head.

Bill's eye popped back into existence and instantly he removed it from its socket for a quick spit-polish before replacing it once again. He blinked hard a few times, spawned a bottle of eye drops and applied them, then blinked again.

"Beats me, let's go have a look-see, shall we?" he said finally while rubbing out his eye. Bill offered his elbow to his companion, which Dipper took without a second (or a first) thought, and led them both towards the door exiting the room.

They followed a staircase upward until they got to another door, behind which lied something neither of them could have been prepared to see.

A toddler.

Just a normal, regular old toddler.

With one eye. One giant, cantaloupe-sized eye taking up just about half his face.

And a grin like broken glass shards.

Dipper knew immediately what this creature was. Bill, however, could not have been more oblivious - completely uncharacteristic of him. He moved to the child and tugged gently on the jagged cowlick sticking out of the back of its silky blonde hair where, just above, hovered a cyan-blue ball of fire dormant like a candle.

The toddler gurgled out a complaint and swatted Bill's hand away. Then, Bill moved in front of it, putting both hands on either of the child's cheeks.

"Get a load of this flesh larva, Pine Tree, he looks like - hurrgh!" Bill's sentence was cut short when the toddler threw its arms around Bill and squeezed tight enough to crumple him in its arms like he was made of paper.

"Daddy!" it cooed. Dipper's face felt like fire; he must have been red as a cherry at that point. Glued to the ground a few inches out of the doorway to the basement, the young man felt his heart ache and sing and yearn and break all at the same time.

And then, out of a different room came another Bill, looking very much the same as Dipper's Bill, except for a magnificent golden wedding band that shone like a sun around his finger. In one fell swoop, he scooped up the toddler from the floor, detaching it from Bill, and cradled it close in his arms.

"Wrong Bill, Pine Cone!" Married Bill said to the toddler, "That's 47/a. Stay away from him, he's a lunatic." He didn't bother asking what the other was doing there; Bills tended to come and go from dimensions at any given time. He had done so quite a lot himself.

"No more than you are, buddy," Bill huffed, crossing his accordioned arms.

"I consider myself 'reformed', thank you very much."

"Oh yeah? On what grounds?" Bill tugged at all three of his corners to straighten himself out, yet the creases in his form remained. To rectify this, he produced a hot iron from thin air and steam-ironed himself back to perfection.

"Pine Tree! Duh. Believe it or not, psycho, it's apparently considered unethical to go grocery shopping with blood stains soaked into your bricks."

"Well that's just too much work. Besides, red and yellow go well together, if you ask me -"

"And no one did."

"- What does Pine Tree know about ethics anyway? The kid uses people like a tool for knowledge!"

Dipper's stomach dropped and he swallowed hard to push away the feeling of sickness.

"That was ages ago. Pine Tree also taught me to leave the past in the past. After all, when you live forever, no sense holding grudges, right kid?" A tiny fist-bump was exchanged between Married Bill and son, 'Pine Cone'. He then looked over at Bill's Dipper and offered a mouthless smile. Dipper was too shaken to say anything back, plus the sight of a Bill with... _that_ toddler smiling at him and just radiating with happiness and general good-will the likes of which had never been seen before in _any_ Bill was a shot of pure bliss to the brain. The rush was so sweet that his lips curled upward into a smile without his say-so and a weirdly content sigh left him.

"I beg to differ - it makes it that much sweeter when they finally perish."

And it was gone. But there was that sickness in Dipper's gut again, rearing its ugly head.

"Anyway, if you and Pines are feeling at all hospitable, Pine Tree and I would like to stay for tea. I'm showing him around the multiverse." Bill was already making himself at home: 'accidentally' knocking a vase off the table, turning a few paintings upside down, spawning himself a tea set and chairs - all of which floating. "I brought my own set!" He said perkily, trying to weasel his way into the deal. "Nice place you got here! I dig the instruments of torture in the basement."

"Thanks! The axe is Pine Tree's favourite, he can't get off without it!" Married Bill said as he sat down in one of the two chairs Bill spawned for them. If it were physically possible for Dipper to become any redder, he would have. However, a little part of him died inside. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he sat on the sofa across from the demonic pair. Or trio? That child definitely was not human, but he couldn't be full demon either. Maybe more like a demi-demon. Married Bill snapped a bottle filled with a syrupy black fluid into existence and popped it into Pine Cone's mouth before pouring himself a cup of tea. The toddler suckled happily while his father and father-look-alike talked about how great the plaid museum is and how Dipper is completely wrong about it and just doesn't know what he's in for. "Pine Cone calls it Plaidland and it's the gosh-darn most adorable thing!"

After about an hour and a half of violently agreeing with each other, the Bills were interrupted by the sound of the front door.

"Bill, Tyrone, I'm home!" a familiar voice called. It was the Dipper of this universe, "I got the sheep brains you wanted," Married Bill's husband.

"In here, kid!" Bill called out, substituting for Married Bill for funsies. The rattling of plastic bags and a set of footsteps began heading their way.

"I hope you don't mind, they're a bit out of date, but I got them for a great discount..." Married Dipper entered the room to find duplicates of himself and his husband. His sentence slowed to a stop as did he. An awkward silence resonated between everyone before Married Dipper decided he was _not_ dealing with this today and promptly u-turned out of there.

"Baby, wait!" Married Bill beckoned, launching out of his chair and zipping over to his husband to stop him. Pine Cone/Tyrone was being held in the air by a newly generated third hand. "Come on, Pine Tree," he drawled, "Don't be a buzzkill! This is 47/a Bill and Dipper, and -"

"Whatever they want, give it to them and get them out. One Bill around Tyrone is bad enough."

"Yeesh kid, what do you think will happen? You afraid we're gonna kill him or something?"

"No - I'm not even sure that's possible, to be honest. No, I'm afraid he's going to get even more bright ideas like the one he had the other day when he hid Noodle in my shirt pocket before I left for work. I was _this close_ to being fired, Bill, _**this**_ _close_. Luckily my boss's supervisor loves snakes, so I got off with a warning. No, this house is limited to _one_ Bill only." And then he mumbled under his breath, "even that's far too many."

Dipper couldn't help sighing away the ache in his chest and thinking, "you should be so thankful, man." Being there hurt. He was more than ready to be done with this dimension and get back home.

"Aw, don't be such a flake, kid," Married Bill chuckled. He shrugged, "take a joke." Married Dipper opened his mouth to retort but Bill continued loudly as usual. "Anyway, 47/a is helping his flesh stick with homework. Be hospitable, would ya?"

Married Dipper groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, "What kind of homework?" All eyes pointed to Dipper. He straightened up suddenly in his chair, glancing between the five other eyes in the room.

"Uh. Well, I... There's a science fair going on back in my dimension and the first place prize is a scholarship, which I kinda need because-" Dipper's face lightened with a crooked smile and his eyes drifted to the demi-demon baby, "as I'm sure you know, diapers aren't cheap."

"What?" Married Dipper appeared puzzled.

"Not a problem for us, Northwest. They don't make flame-retardant diapers in your world. So I make our own."

Bill huffed and muttered to himself, "What a waste of perfectly good magic."

"Not like it runs out," Married Bill grumbled in response. Both Bills glared each other down at this.

"Oh. Oh yeah, no, Tyrone is way too flammable for that. First week after he was born, he nearly brought down the house in ashes starting with my drapes." Dipper reluctantly took note on Married Dipper's anecdote.

"Hold on, which is it?" The scratching of Dipper's pen slowed and he cocked his head. "You keep saying Tyrone, but-"

"It _was_ Tyrone William Cipher-Pines until _Bill_ changed his name on the birth certificate while I was having a nervous breakdown in the bathroom. So his legal name is actually Pine-Cone Pants Pines." Despite Married Dipper's sore tone, Married Bill didn't look any less proud of himself. Which wasn't uncharacteristic.

Bill piped up to share his opinion, "Well that's because Tyrone William is stupid. Like, that's not even a good name." Both Dippers gaped at Bill while Married Bill remained unchanged. He agreed. 47/a just put it into words. Bill leaned toward Married Bill and said low, with a hand shielding his metaphorical mouth. "Don't worry, 'Atlantica' is a pretty stupid name too. I campaigned for 'Pants' but it was out of my hands." He shrugged. Married Bill patted Bill's back and nodded.

Dipper rolled his eyes and continued jotting down notes. He omitted that last exchange.

Married Dipper brought in a pair of Pitt Colas for Dipper and himself to share while the Bills fawned over Tyrone with their tea. In his journal, Dipper doodled a little picture of Tyrone along with his pet snake and the bottle of questionable fluid Married Bill had been feeding him before (he captioned the image of the bottle with 'is this antimatter?' and 'probably not consumable by normal humans'). He gazed at his drawing with a frown. Tyrone, essentially his son, was _this_ close to actually being his. The key difference in this universe seemed to be that something - whatever it was - convinced Bill to forgive him before Pacifica stepped into the picture. Dipper bit his lip. He needed to ask what exactly it was. For his research. And at the same time, he didn't want to know. But then again, some part of him, deep inside maybe did want to know. A nagging in the back of his mind that had a spark of hope. The nagging and hope that he waged war against because he was married with a daughter and did not need to be having such thoughts. After enough internal conflict, he took a deep breath and gathered his courage to ask.

"So what... what exactly was it that- I-I mean, how did you and Bill...?"

"Oh. Huh. Funny story about that one. For the longest time, I couldn't get him out of my mind. I kept trying to contact him all the way up until high school. And then in high school, I started sorta dating Pacifica. You're from a reality where I married her, though, right? I mean, 'cause Bill called you Northwest and all."

"Uh. Yeah, she was always there for me when things got bad. Pulled me out of some really bad spots and everything. I guess one day I realized I'd been wasting my time on Bill and realized she cared about me no matter what."

"Man. That's so weird to me. Like, she did the same for me, but I guess I never got to that point with her before Bill and I made up."

Dipper chewed the rubber of his chew-proof pen. He felt his stomach sink to the floor.

"What, uh- how did you make up, exactly?" Okay. This was it. Dipper steeled his nerves.

Married Dipper blushed a little and sat back in his seat, averting his eyes from the other. He had a tiny bashful grin. "We sorta," he hesitated, chuckling and rubbing a hand behind his neck, "slept together one night," he swallowed, "and it all came rushing back. All the feelings and whatever. All the old wounds reopened and we stayed up that night and talked about everything."

Dipper's jaw slacked open. He stared at his counterpart in awe as a whirlwind of thoughts crashed over him. His hands went cold, though his palms slicked with sweat. He gripped his pen hard, bending the rubber between his thumb and index.

"You guys slept together?" he echoed, voice trembling?

"Yeah." Married Dipper couldn't meet eyes with him. "It all happened so fast, before I knew it, we were laying in bed and wondering what we were gonna do next." He shook his head, "But after that, I didn't really need Pacifica's help anymore 'cause Bill and I gave things another try and I was happy again."

"How did you- I mean, I'm not trying to pry, but we're kinda, uh, the same so I hope this isn't too personal. But, for the sake of research..."

"For the sake of research...?" Married Dipper held out a fist to bump with Dipper's. Dipper anxiously returned the gesture.

"-For the sake of research, what could have possibly led up to that?"

"Oh. Um. Geez, you know, I don't really remember. One moment, I was alone in my room looking through memories with him and the next he was there threatening my life and then it's all a blur I'll spare you the details of, but then it was over and we were holding hands and for once he was dead silent."

The Dippers fell into silence, both staring thoughtfully at the floor with varying expressions of nostalgia. Dipper withdrew, glancing up to the Bills and Tyrone. His veins ran icy. Married Dipper swirled his soda in the can, listening to the clink of the pit hitting the aluminum walls. Suddenly a thought hit him.

"Oh! I remember what it was-" Dipper sat up straight and directed his attention back to his counterpart, ears pricked high. "I was looking through my journal and I was kinda," he chuckled, flustered, "having guy time. You know." He shook it off. "And in my journal I had Bill's chant written down. Not his summoning- I have that one too, but I mean..."

"Oh. Wow. Okay?"

"Yeah. And I was reading it," he cleared his throat, "out loud. To myself." Dipper's gaze drifted, staring frozen into space. "And then there he was. Swearing he was going to kill me if I didn't shut up right then and leave him alone."

Dipper looked down at his shaking hands, replaying the scene in his memory. "I remember that night. I was looking over it, and thought about going for it, but then I decided to call Pacifica instead. To stop myself." He shook his head slow, in utter disbelief at how extraordinarily close it was. How one slight difference in thought could change _so much_. This was entirely different to parallel universes. There was no fun in this - seeing how much better or worse you could have had it. This was torture. Traveling to daughter dimensions, Dipper wrote furiously, could drive a man insane.

Quiet stilled the air between the both of them while Dipper wrote. The Bills across the room were hovering around Tyrone, teaching him magic skills and continuing to praise each other on their prowess as Bills tended to do. When Dipper finished and tied all of his thoughts from that dimension together, he stood up with his head hung, the fringe of his bangs shadowing his face.

"Thanks for your time," he monotoned. His fists clenched at his sides, holding onto his journal and pen with just less than damaging force. Married Dipper frowned. He didn't have to ask what was wrong. He was looking right at himself. He knew.

"Hey listen, I hope you found what you were looking for, man," he offered sympathetically.

Dipper didn't reply.

"C'mon, Bill." The demons looked up to where Dipper was standing at the doorway back down to the basement where the portal was. "Let's go."

"Aw, but Pine Tree, can't you see I'm busy here-"

"I need to go home," Dipper interrupted, fist clenched at his side. After a beat of hesitance, Bill straightened his bow tie and tipped his hat to Married Bill and Pine Cone.

"Well, it's been great but looks like it's time to take my meatbag back to our reality. Catch you on the flipside, Pines."

"Bye bye, daddy!" Pine Cone waved with a precious smile. Married Bill lifted him up to rest on his hip and then tipped his hat in response. Dipper felt his heart shatter.

...

The pair stood at the bus stop in complete silence. Dipper clutched his journal close to his chest. He stared at the ground with an absent mind, thinking about their married counterparts. It was an absolute disaster of a marriage - Bill had Dipper collecting materials for dark magic, he was giving their son ideas on how to make Dipper's life hell just for kicks, their son was _flammable_ , Dipper barely seemed to have any control on anything around there - but they where clearly happy together.

Dipper couldn't help feeling a bit stomach sick thinking about it. He wanted that. He wanted to share that experience with Bill; to raise a kid and live together and put up with his crazy antics day in and day out. Some deep, dark part of him wondered if there was still time yet to change things... And then he felt absolutely disgusted with himself. He was in love with Pacifica - he was in love with them both - but she had been there for him through thick and thin. And now that he had Atlantica, he knew they were his future. Nothing could change that.

And yet, without Bill, Atlantica wouldn't exist. Pacifica would still be infertile and maybe they would have decided to adopt in the end but Atlantica is ultimately Bill's creation. And it was messed up, but he couldn't help but feel comforted that in some distant way, he would always have a piece of Bill with him. It was a nice thought. Even though it was kind of messed up, and he knew it was, at least it meant he would always look at his daughter with love and not resentment. That had to count for something, right?

"You see this guy, Pine Tree?" Bill startled Dipper with a surprisingly loud tone. He was glaring at a wanted poster hanging pinned on the bus stop sign. "Super evil. Name's Rick Sanchez and - I got nothing legal against him or anything, I totally relate to the whole 'wanted by literally every government for literally every crime', but he's totally tryna put me out of a job!" Dipper raised an eyebrow. He tried and failed to stop the crooked smile that dawned on him at the way Bill waved his arms around angrily. "The 'old fashioned' way of deluding your teachers into giving you good grades was to summon a _dream demon_ to convince them, but this guy and his stupid dream inceptor... newfangled technology." Bill crossed his arms and grumbled. "I mean, how's a guy supposed to make a living with gadgets replacing everything these days?" Dipper chuckled and patted Bill's head.

"You wouldn't have gotten into my dimension if Great Uncle Ford never made that portal," he reminded. Bill shot him a dirty look.

As the bus came to a stop in front of them, Bill and Dipper filed on and made their way down the isle to find a seat. The bus carried them back to the inter-dimensional hub. Dipper gazed out the window at the technicolour blurs passing by.

Bill explained the functions of daughter universes in the grand scheme of things.

"Whenever you make a decision," Bill said as Dipper wrote in his journal, "any outcome that could possibly derive from that choice is made in some other universe. Even when you opt to do nothing at all, another version of you has opted to attempt everything at once, or choose one person's side or the other's. Sometimes it can be as simple as the colour shirt you wear. Other times, you have a kid with your ex in your great uncle's house and install a torture chamber in the basement. You never know what you're gonna get." Dipper flinched at that last bit. Touchy subject.

Regardless, Bill managed to make Dipper feel better anyway. His presence and general nature was a catalyst on Dipper's happiness. The young man kept his journal tucked close under his arm at all times. He'd documented his experiences in such detail that Bill accused him of keeping a diary. They chatted about how Dipper planned to carry out his project once he got home, how he'd present it and explain to small-minded the things he'd seen in layman's terms. Dipper caught himself smiling and grinning as he spoke, laughing at the things Bill would say. His heart fluttered in his chest.

He cleared his throat, "Looks like our stop is coming up," he said, finally. The electronic sign above read INTERDIMENSIONAL HUB. Bill patted Dipper's shoulder, causing a fleeting blush to rise in the other's cheeks.

"Well, Pine Tree, it's been fun." He rose from his seat, hovering once again, and ushered Dipper out of his seat and down the aisle. "Hope you feel the same."

Dipper's voice cracked when he replied, "Of course!" a little too excitedly. Mentally, he face-palmed. Bill laughed at him, making Dipper blush even harder. Boy had that been the running theme of today. He rubbed the back of his neck and shook it off. "Thanks for everything, man. I, uh, I'll see you again soon, right?" Was that a stupid thing to say? Did it come off flirty? The pair stepped off the bus and those waiting at the stop filed on. Bill put both hands on his hips.

"That's a stupid question, Pines."

"I- yeah. I know," Dipper chuckled awkwardly. They walked along the sidewalk back toward Milliways. The void around them grew darker with each step, the hustle and bustle of the transcendent community fading away like a dream.

"I'll be back," he continued with pride, "I always come back. You know that, Dipper."

His words struck the young man with a shot of infatuation. They became the butterflies that fluttered around in Dipper's chest, plucking at his heartstrings. Dipper cleared his throat and shuffled his journal around in his arms. He chewed the end of his pen out of nervous habit, but the need to respond seemed to flee when Bill extended his hand out with conviction, for Dipper to take.

He wasn't sure when, but at some point that evening, Dipper had entirely stopped using his head. He stared at Bill's offer, mind and heart racing a million miles per hour. And with a tentative hand, he gently took the dream demon's hand in his. Bill laced their fingers together, and Dipper could feel the low buzz of magical energy radiating through his palm. Such a distantly familiar feeling reawakened after all these years.

Dipper's breaths grew short. He fought back overwhelmed tears, shaking his head and placing his grinning face into his free hand. Bill watched and mused at how flustered he was, but generously decided not to call him out on it. Still, Pine Tree was undeniably cute.

Once they reached the end of the abstract thought dimension, Bill produced his cane and gestured for his companion to return to the sleeping body that snored (and drooled) on the desk in front of him.

"Back before work, as promised." Bill looked at his wrist which had mysteriously generated a watch and said, "Your alarm should be going off in three... two... one..."

Jazzy tones chimed up from the speaker of Dipper's phone that lied beside his sleeping head. Dipper's body began fading from Bill's existence, bit by bit as his sleeping self slowly came to. He looked at the connection between him and the dream demon before blushing and quickly turning away.

"See you soon, Bill," he murmured, biting his lip.

"Stay wired, kid."

And with that, Dipper vanished and awoke in his study, face drenched in his own drool. Gross. He yawned and stretched, wiping the fluid away with his sleeve. And suddenly a thought crossed him. He patted down his body before noticing on the desk beside him, lied the glittery atrocity that was his new project journal. He smiled and stashed it in one of the desk drawers. He had a long week ahead of him, but first he needed a shower and coffee.


	10. I Stopped Using My Head

**A/N:** _But baby there you go again (there you go again), makin' me love youuu..._  
 _Yeah I stopped usin' my head (usin' my head), let it all gooo!_  
Btw the fic theme song is /watch?v=7CPYoGtI75Q

* * *

The clatter of the front door shutting drew attention from all the girls. Pacifica emerged from the kitchen with Atlantica in her arms and Mabel peeked out of the archway to the living room. Both of them spoke at once.

"Bro-bro!"

"Dipper, honey-"

But Dipper kicked off his shoes at the front door and went coasting past them, trotting down the hallway toward the staircase like he'd done every day for the past week and a half.

"Can't talk, science project calls!" he explained in a rush. He thundered up the stairs in suit of the attic. "See you guys at dinner!" he called before disappearing. Mabel and Pacifica exchanged tired frowns. 'Seeing them' just meant he would pop downstairs, take a plate, pile it with food, and vanish back up to the attic again.

Pacifica furrowed her brows and grunted. "I'm going to have a talk with him. I'm seriously tired of this. He isn't getting away with this." Mabel straightened up and leaned against the arch frame.

"Come on, Paz, he's doing it for you guys. A scholarship is a big deal!" she consoled.

"He has a daughter," Pacifica scoffed in return.

"Exactly! You could use all the money you'd be saving to take care of her. Just give him some space to work and I'm sure he'll be back around after the science fair. Until then, I'll help you out with Atlantica. She's my niece, after all." Mabel giggled, "Genetically, she could be my daughter since Dipper and I are identical twins!" Pacifica was too upset to be amused. Fire glinted in her eyes as she turned to Mabel with a deadpan look.

"What upsets me is that he's not doing it in the study."

"What? You can't be serious. That's such a little thing!"

"No, you don't get it - Dipper does _all_ his schoolwork and job stuff in the study. Upstairs, is where all his Bill stuff is. Everything from his whole obsessive phase is all in the attic." Mabel raised her brows and glanced to the empty stairs. She turned back to see Pacifica's expression had softened to one of concern. "I'm worried about him. With Bill hanging around, I'm afraid he's gonna go back to his old ways. You saw how he already defended him for destroying your house." Mabel bit her lip and rubbed the back of her neck - a trait she shared with Dipper.

"I'm... sure he's fine." She stepped back, retreating into the living room. "Dipper's an enigma, he'll, uh, probably come around. Or whatever." She laughed nervously. "Anyway, ah, my show's on. So I'm just gonna... yeah." Mabel slipped away, leaving Pacifica in the hall, staring solemnly toward the stairs before sighing and shaking her head. She headed back into the kitchen to plan for dinner.

The clunking of Dipper's feet up the stairs drew to a stop under the hatch to the attic. He pulled the cord, disclosing the ladder up, and scaled into his shrine room.

"You're late today, Pine Tree," Bill teased as Dipper shut the entrance behind him. He took a sip out of his tea cup, pinky raised. Dipper turned to him with a smile and shrugged his backpack off his shoulders, then set his school books down next to his finished science fair project in the corner of the room.

"Sorry, my professor kept us all late because she was droning on about her husband cheating on her." He settled down in the real seat and poured himself a cup of Bill's tea. Bill shifted in his tiny, magical floating chair and laughed.

"Human loyalty is pathetic!"

Dipper opened his mouth to retort but then decided not to comment on that, else Bill might take it the wrong way. Instead, he put his 'energy tea' to his lips and took a sip. (Bill's special brew. It produced a mild hallucinogen effect by allowing certain 'dreaming' areas of his brain to sleep while the rest stayed awake indefinitely. It created the perfect environment for Bill to project into Dipper's mind and for him to still be conscious. The only side-effects were the constant tingly feeling under his skin that gave off a static shock to things he touched and the glow-in-the-dark effect he had. He carefully made sure to wait until the girls were asleep before walking around the house after dark. Bill also warned that if he continued drinking it, he'd fry his loved ones with all of the energy overflow he'd build up. Electric chair style.) Bill spawned an emery board and filed away at his imaginary nails.

"Ready to get started, flesh stick?"

Dipper swallowed his drink and nodded. Bill clapped away the tea set so that the table was clear. Dipper reached down into his backpack to retrieve a crude hunk of lead from the inner pocket.

"I swiped this from the earth science room down the hall from my classroom. Hopefully they don't miss it, but they'll get over it if they do, I guess," Dipper chuckled. He glanced up to Bill who seemed to be keenly watching his movements. He looked a little surprised.

"Pines, you aren't gonna do what I think you're gonna do, are you?" Bill subconsciously leaned in a little closer. Dipper didn't answer his question. Instead, he reached for the chalk sitting on a box beside the table and began inscribing symbols onto the lead.

"Keep your expectations extremely low. The first time I did this, I nearly took my own hand off and barely got anything out of it," Dipper stated simply, putting both his thumbs together in the center of the lead and focusing his 'tea energy' (which conveniently substituted for his own life force - just made things slightly simpler and less bloody) into the mass with as much concentration as he could, "but I practiced a _lot_ in my highschool years and if I remember everything correctly I should get..."

A brilliant light flared through Dipper's fingers. Bill's eye widened and he alighted on the table, standing before Dipper's smouldering palms. The mineral shrank under the energy force and heat and became "-three grams of twenty-four karat gold!" An incredibly minute amount, barely the size of a quarter. Less than an ounce.

Dipper held the gold nugget out in his burned palms for Bill to take. "You can have it if you want. It's worth about a hundred bucks. Not that, uh, that means anything to you."

Bill's center coloured over in a hue of pink and he pressed his tiny hands to his 'cheeks'.

"Oh, Pine Tree! I'm so proud of you!" Bill held his hands out for Dipper to drop the gold into his palms. Turning his eye into a jeweler's magnifying glass, Bill held it up and inspected it. He excused the shoddy craftsmanship of the transmutation in light of the fact Pines was giving it to him. "Did you know this was how that Pine Tree with the kid made the ring he gave to that Bill?" Bill said passively.

"Oh." Dipper blinked. He had butterflies in his stomach and a frog in his throat. "Cool. I-I guess." He ran a hand through his bangs and chuckled, face warming. "Anyway, uh, let's move on." Bill's magnifying eye vanished and returned to normal. He put his hands on his hips and gave Dipper a half-mast eye-smirk.

"You're cute when you're flustered."

Dipper clapped his hands to his face and shook his head as if he was trying to shake away his blush.

"No no no, you didn't see anything! Ah geez."

"There there, Pines," Bill consoled, moving forward on the table to pat Dipper's forehead, "You're only making it worse for yourself." Dipper made an embarrassing noise and shoved Bill off the table. The demon went off laughing. He flipped in the air and never touched the ground, going airborne again. "Adorable!" Dipper crossed his arms at his chest. "C'mon, Pine Tree, don't be like that," he pressed a finger to his face, "you know you love me!"

"Let's just-" Dipper dug around over the side of his chair and pulled out a square box printed with three varying classes of fantasy heroes, "You said you'd play with me if I could impress you with my transmutations. Time to pay up, Cipher!" Bill rolled his eye and sat down, cross-legged on the table again where Dipper began taking out the playing board for Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons.

"Human-brand entertainment is such a joke. It could put me to sleep. _Me!_ " he groaned, crossing his arms.

"Give it a chance. Great-uncle Ford and I had a lot of fun playing this. When, uh, it didn't come to life or anything. If he liked it, I know you will too."

"Watch it, kid," Bill snapped, shooting a glare to him.

"Okay, okay, but still." Dipper offered a smile and took out a paper and pencil, holding them at the ready, "What class do you wanna be? A sorcerer? A mage?" he said, going by Bill's magical abilities.

"Racist." Bill raised his brow.

"Oh my god no, I didn't mean it like that-"

Bill leaned forward and tapped a finger below his eye. "Hmm, I'll be a used car salesman!"

"What? But Bill, you can't-"

"I like the cut of those guys' jibs," Bill stared up at Dipper, looking entirely serious. Dipper hesitated but eventually wrote down 'used car salesman' as Bill's class. Next to it, he put down 'rogue' as his own, feeling like mixing things up a bit. And maybe like stealth-killing Bill's character.

...

"Dipper! Time for dinner!" Pacifica's voice rang through the house, just barely reaching the attic. Dipper almost didn't hear it through his and Bill's laughing. One of Dipper's mathematical errors had caused things to work out in Bill's favour, essentially god-modding him. However, he'd used his overpowered rampage mode (powered by gold) to transform a field of cows into used cars and dazzle the evil warrior brute into handing over all his riches, damning him to a life of poverty in the village where the citizens shunned him for his greedy ways and all he had were his dozens of used vehicles. Dipper's stealth was no match for Bill's wit.

With aching sides, Dipper tried to stop laughing, taking deep gasping breaths and fanning his face.

"Okay dude, I'm gonna go get dinner and be right back," he managed through giggles, pushing his chair back and heading for the attic hatch.

"Don't keep me waiting, Pine Tree," Bill said in a jovial tone with a finger gun. "I'm actually having fun here!" Dipper smiled and nodded then descended the ladder down to the staircase.

His body and heart felt light as he entered the kitchen where his family gathered their dinner and sat down at the table. Pacifica stood at the counters with her back to the door, scooping a spoonful of mashed potatoes onto her plate - a food she'd come to love since having known the Pines family - and Mabel already had her plate in front of her where she sat, holding a bottle for the baby in her arms. Dipper approached the spread and looked over his options as he took a plate for himself.

"Everything looks good!" he said merrily. Pacifica didn't respond, nor look at him as she took her plate to the dinner table and sat down. His smile diminished. "Everything okay, sweetheart?" he asked, spooning potatoes onto his plate.

"Glad you like it," Mabel spoke up. Dipper smiled cautiously, taking some rolls and a slab of ham as well.

"Yeah I-"

"Since I made it," she added. Dipper paused, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, Dipper tried speaking again.

"Good... job? I-it all smells really-"

"Again," she finished. Dipper dropped his shoulders and frowned at his sister.

"What's going on, Mabes?"

"Don't bother asking her," said Pacifica, still not looking up at her husband.

"What?" Dipper drew his arms in closer, subconsciously defensive.

"Why don't you ask yourself what's going on? Y'know, since you're spending all your time worshiping Bill again."

Dipper felt his throat close up and his face quickly flush red. His heart rate increased, palms sweating.

"I don't understand. This is all out of nowhere," he said carefully, eyeing the door.

"Is it? Are you sure you're not going to go back upstairs and stay there all night with Bill until work tomorrow?"

A flash of defensiveness and self-preservation went through Dipper all at once and he raised his voice toward his sibling, "Mabel! I told you not to tell her anything! I thought I could trust you!"

"Whoa, wait - ' _Not to tell me anything_ '? So now there's something you're not telling me?" she thundered, setting the pitcher of water down hard on the table. Dipper suddenly felt his foot in his mouth as Mabel gave him an unreadable look.

"I, uh..." Dipper inched toward the door.

"It's just... I know you've got your project and stuff, but you've been spending no time with us," Mabel said. "I kinda hoped when I started staying here that we'd hang out again just like old times. I missed you, Dipper."

"You know you have a _daughter_ , right? I mean, it's pretty uncool of you to make your wife who just had a baby cook dinner every night for almost two weeks," Pacifica added, sassily.

"You didn't have to make anything. I could have found something myself," Dipper tried.

"Oh yeah? And your sister, who is currently our guest, is just supposed to go hungry?"

"No, I didn't mean it like that-"

"What are you _really_ doing up there, Dipper?" she demanded, crossing her arms and glaring him down. "Because I know it's not that project or you'd be doing it in the study." Dipper grit his teeth nervously and took the only way out he knew of. Bill was upstairs waiting.

"I can't deal with this right now. We can talk later. I have to get back to my project." He turned to leave the kitchen. "Have a nice dinner, girls." As he walked down the hallway, grunts and sighs of disgust came from behind him.

'Are you serious?' he heard, 'You've got to be kidding me' in each of the girls' voices. Guilt welled up inside him, bubbling in his chest, but he swallowed it down and forced thoughts of Bill to the front, recalling how much fun they were having together and would continue to have the rest of the night. This was just a small blip in what would still be a good night.

He returned to the attic to find Bill pretending to be asleep. Giant blue Zs rose from his pseudo-sleeping form and what Dipper assumed was supposed to be drool dribbled out from the corner of his mouth/eye combo. Dipper set his dinner down on the table beside Bill and sat down.

"Sorry that took so long." Bill made a gurgling noise and sucked the 'drool' back into his... whatever, then sat up and rubbed his eye.

"What century is it?" Bill yawned and stretched cutely. Dipper shook his head.

"I think Pacifica suspects I'm up here worshipping you again." Bill raised his brow.

"Is that not what you're doing?" he teased. Dipper laughed, taking then a bite of his dinner.

"Only a little!" he joked in return. "Not like I used to."

"Sounds like I'm not trying hard enough." Bill clapped his hands together like he was taking dust off of them. "I feel like I've been challenged."

"Maybe," Dipper said facetiously, leaning his chin in his hand and gazing at Bill with half mast eyes as he ate.

"Oh you're on," Bill retorted, pointing another finger gun at him. "After you're done consuming the life force of those beings," he said, gesturing to Dipper's plate, "I'll treat you to a few dimensional phenomenons and you'll be scraping your knees against the floor worshiping me by the end of the night."

"Oh." Dipper sat up straight and blushed. He shifted slightly in his chair, feeling a tiny heat roll through him. His tongue glazed over his lips. Images of the past flashed through his mind. He ruffled his bangs with nervous energy. "Hah. That's kinda... A-Alright, but just one more night okay? The girls are getting suspicious. We should probably slow things back down."

Bill considered his next words very carefully, but did not skip a beat.

"Aw, but Pine Tree," he whined sadly. He stepped forward and took Dipper's chin in his hand gently, and Dipper felt the mana buzzing under his skin. He held his breath and blinked as Bill captured his eyes. "I've been having fun spending time with you again! I missed you."

Dipper's eyes widened, his lips parting open. His chest pounded and the breath he was holding released in an embarrassing, "Wow." He swallowed hard and Bill dropped his hand back down to his side again, smiling innocently.

"Uh, o-okay. I uh, I guess that's fair," he spluttered, floundering for the right response. Bill locked his hands together in front of him. "Let's - let's just see how tonight goes. The science fair is tomorrow, so..."

"I get it, that excuse will be used up. Don't fret so much, Dipstick, I won't harass you or anything. It's all up to you, as usual." Bill crossed his arms and gave Dipper a sultry side-gaze. Dipper smiled and patted Bill on his pinnacle.

"Thanks."

Bill's brow shot up and he shivered, making Dipper snap his hand back to his body as quickly as he could retract it. Bill coloured over with a shade of pink in his center.

"Watch the vertices, kid!" he said and readjusted his hat over his head, avoiding Dipper's eyes as he blushed. Dipper did the same.

"Right, right. I... I forgot." He rubbed his thumb to the center of his palm where he'd touched Bill like a worry stone, reveling in the experience. Or perhaps like he was trying to rub off the shame. Bill didn't point out the obvious lie like he wanted to, but the look he gave Dipper told the man that he knew it wasn't true.

Dipper didn't know what else to say so instead he just shoved a dinner roll into his mouth and grinned foolishly. Bill cracked up in giggles at the sight, which made Dipper crack up as well. They laughed the awkwardness away together.

Bill sat across the table from him, propping himself up on his arms and chatting with him about the universe as the world outside grew dark.

...

Once the sun had long since set and his dinner had been long finished, Dipper checked the time on his phone to see it was an hour past midnight. He nodded to Bill, who was hanging upside down from a trapeze he'd manifested as they talked, and got up from his chair. Bill came down from his monkey bar and turned right-side up again.

"So what 'dimensional phenomenon' did you have in mind tonight?" he asked with a smile.

Bill held out his hand for Dipper to take. Dipper stared at it a moment before taking it with warm cheeks. Bill laced their fingers together and glowed bright as he teleported them, and in the next moment, Dipper clapped his other hand over his mouth and nose.

His breath held tight in his chest as water enveloped him. Frantically, he looked to Bill who had his other hand on his hip as he glanced around. His eye caught Dipper and he shrugged.

"You can breathe, Pines," he said, poking a finger at Dipper's brand new temporary gills. Dipper squeaked in shock and took a breath in. Wow, that felt weird. He stroked his throat experimentally, feeling the gills breathe underneath his fingers.

"How-"

"Don't ask questions, Pine Tree, it's not rocket science."

Dipper mumbled to himself, "It's not science at all." Bill paid no mind to his remark. He pulled out a rectangle of paper and unfolded it into a map.

"Now let's see here, we're at exactly 31 24 25. 58' North and 24 32 09. 08' West," he said, pressing a finger to the map. Dipper observed the bright red circle on the map where Bill's glowing index rested.

"The middle of the Atlantic Ocean?" Dipper questioned, glancing around himself into the dark waters. "Um... Okay?"

"So it should be around here somewhere..." Bill continued, surveying the area. He came to a stop in front of a dune of sand and seemed satisfied. "Ah! Here we go! Boy, is it dusty around here!" In one deep breath, Bill sucked in and _blew_.

Dipper closed his eyes as the water around him rushed and changed, buffeting against him and threatening to catch him in its current. He anchored his feet into the cold sea floor and focused on his balance until the current died down. He opened his eyes.

The sea was still as black as before. No sun penetrated to this depth, leaving Dipper with only one glowing, yellow point of reference. He looked at Bill. "I don't really know what you're expecting me to see. It's pitch black down here."

"Oh. Right, humans don't have night vision. Lemme just hit the lights!"

Bill clapped his hands together twice, in rapid succession, and for a single second nothing happened. Then Dipper caught the gentle cerulean glow that began to well up, growing brighter and brighter and _spreading_ , racing in every direction. It twisted along walls, up spires and columns, cast shadows on the massive dune of sand that was still settling beside it. Dipper's jaw dropped, and beside him Bill clapped the dust off his hands.

He leaned into Dipper and cupped a hand around his face, snickering. "Looks like the maid took a day off, am I right?"

"The lost city of Atlantis," Dipper breathed, awestruck. Idly pressing forward, he gazed upon the complex and gorgeous architecture of the ruins, the lower halves surrounded by a gigantic, curving wall. The light that outlined them was alive, shimmering in the water, small sparks darting to and fro. Dipper pushed through the water until his muscles strained, aching with effort, but he didn't stop. He needed to see, needed to study it. Bill floated beside him, reclining against nothing.

The city gates were so close, but after only a minute Dipper had to pause and give his legs a break. Bill floated on, unaware, for another few feet, until Dipper called out to him. He returned to Dipper's side, crossing his arms.

"Come on, kid, this ain't the time to dawdle. Let's go!"

Dipper shook his head. "I'm _trying_. Water is a lot harder to move in," he explained, demonstrating with a lagging wave of his hand. Bill gave a thoughtful hum.

"Well, I don't have the time and patience for you to crawl all night, so come'ere." His black fingers wrapped around Dipper's wrist and pulled.

Dipper yelped as his feet went out from under him, water rushing over his skin. Bill dragged him swiftly through the water, the glowing spires growing closer and closer.

After a brief but invigorating trip, Dipper found himself deposited in front of a huge stone gate, once stunning but now cracked and faded under the weight of so many years. Parts of it had eroded away, and most of it was home to the bioluminescent plankton that covered half the city. Dipper stepped closer, reaching out to brush his fingertips against it.

"Is this just phytoplankton?" he asked without turning.

"Yup," Bill answered. "Plain and simple!"

"How's it _glowing_ like this?"

Bill rolled his eye. "I can rip holes in the fabric of space time, kid, it's not like it's hard to activate a little dormant bioluminescence."

"But- this was all buried under sand!" He glanced at the huge dune that was piled beside the city. "How did all of these organisms manage to survive?"

"What? Oh! Oh, you mean the, uh- yeah, no, that wasn't actually there." Dipper gave him a look. "It was, y'know, an illusion. A trick!" Bill added.

Dipper tilted his head slightly. "And you did it because...?"

"Dramatic effect!" Bill explained, exasperated. "Not that there was any point. Forgot you meatsacks can't see a thing without your stupid ball of sky fire to hold your hand."

Dipper laughed. "Sorry, Bill. Maybe next time. If it makes you feel better, this whole glowing thing pretty much knocked my socks off."

"That does make me feel better, thank you!" Bill beamed, a smile in his eye. Dipper's heart fluttered ever so slightly. He turned back to the door, brushing his thumb against the slimy surface. The light seemed to thrum and pulse under his fingers, like a heartbeat.

"So should we go in?"

"Hm," Bill narrowed his gaze, then snapped his fingers, a nearby glowing fish swimming over and contorting itself into a lightbulb shape over his head. That didn't seem... survivable, but within seconds the fish was fleeing, unharmed.

Bill wound back a dramatically enlarged fist like a boxer and swung it towards the stone. An inch from contact, he paused, extending a finger and lightly tapped the stone.

"Boop!"

The stone began to shatter, a thousand hairline cracks racing across the surface, extending outward from where he touched it. An approximately Dipper-sized hole crumbled away, and Dipper gaped.

"Bill! You can't do that!" He spluttered.

"What?" Bill retorted, crossing his arms defensively. "Who's gonna be mad, the _fish_?"

"This is _history_! You can't just crash your way through it!" Dipper said with a frown. Bill blinked at him.

"So, does the rest of the dilapidation not count, or...?"

"That-" Dipper paused. "I mean- look, just don't break anything else. We need to treat this place with respect."

"I practically invented respect, Pine Tree! You can count on me!"

Dipper doubted both those things, but he was grateful for the convenient entrance, all things considered.

"Could've just swam over it," he pointed out, grumbling under his breath.

Bill lightly shoved him from behind, unbalancing Dipper's movements.

"Coulda, woulda, shoulda- didn't. Let's get a move on, kid!"

Once he'd found stable footing again, Dipper gathered himself and looked around.

"Gosh." It was even more beautiful inside. The streets were paved with cracked and algae-covered stone, the buildings beautifully carved and detailed with metals that glinted in the light. Not a single human soul inhabited the place, but it was by no means dead. It was thriving, humming with activity as exotic creatures, the likes of which he'd never seen, swam around. They darted in and out of doorways, windows, and alleyways, hiding behind pillars and shadowy alcoves as Dipper approached.

"Bill, this is _amazing_ ," he whispered, almost reverent.

"Yep," Bill said, sounding extremely pleased with himself. "You should've seen it in its heyday. This place had it all. Trade, the arts, religious zealots, you name it!"

"Religious zealots?" Dipper echoed, picking his way forward. Bill floated alongside him, halfway serving as a torch.

"Mm hm. This city technically belonged to 'Poseidon', but I can tell you now that whole thing was a load of bull. I mean, come on, why the heck would a bunch of gods just settle for living on a mountain? I've been to mount Olympus, kid, it's nothing like the stories. It's empty and cold and there's some rocks. That's it. Really doesn't warrant all the worship."

Dipper raised an eyebrow, his silence speaking volumes. Bill held his gaze for a moment before shrugging. "C'mon, I'll show you."

He took Dipper's hand once more, lifting him off his feet and pulling him through the water. This time, Dipper relaxed into it, beginning to enjoy the feeling of the current rushing over his skin, through his newly formed gills.

They approached a massive cathedral, the windows long since shattered under the pressure of the ocean depths. The door was rotted away, allowing them easy access, and Bill pulled Dipper inside the darkened entryway.

The algae that lined the walls seemed to soak up Bill's light like little sponges, filling them with their own pale blue glow.

"Is this a church?" Dipper asked, drifting to the floor and easily settling on his feet.

Bill made a sound that could only be described as disgust.

"Used to be."

He floated over to the back of the hall, his yellow glow catching the shape of a massive, golden statue as he approached. Although not entirely without marks, it seemed in better condition than anything else around it, glinting dully in Bill's aura.

Dipper crept closer, gazing up. It was massive, almost scraping the ceiling of the cathedral. It depicted a man- tall, muscled, his body artfully draped in stone fabric and clenching a staff in his outstretched fist. The end of the staff was jagged and sloped, obviously broken, and as Dipper cast his eye around it wasn't hard to find the large pointed tines of the head of the trident, laying abandoned on the floor.

"Poseidon," he idly said aloud. "So was he real?" Bill floated up to strike a pose on the broken point of the staff.

"Nope," Bill answered easily, balancing en pointe. "Rome, Greece, Scandinavia- all those European gods were a lot of hooey. About as real as your grip on reality!"

Dipper idly ran a hand through his hair, pushing the free-floating strands away as he thought. "Or yours," he retorted, playfully teasing. He and Bill shared a lighthearted laugh. It was nice to joke around with him again, Dipper thought. Bill continued.

"The Mandela effect, kid. Everyone is wrong. But also no one is entirely wrong. Your puny primitive brain couldn't even begin to comprehend it," Bill said with an arrogant demeanor, waving his hand dismissively.

"Don't be so sure. Creationism and evolutionism are both correct as well as both wildly incorrect. Paradoxes aren't as mutually exclusive as most people think. Am I right?" Dipper crossed his arms and raised a brow, smugly watching Bill radiate with pride.

Bill clapped his hands together. "Bingo! Right on the money, kid!" He opened his palms, cupped together, and a shower of golden coins poured from them, drifting down to bounce off Dipper's skin and nest in his hair. Dipper laughed, plucking one of the coins from midair - or midwater? - as it floated down. It depicted Bill, a trident in his hand and a toga wrapped around his two lower points, a benevolent look in his eye as he commanded the oceans. Even as he looked, the coin began to shimmer in Dipper's fingers, wavering until he was left with nothing more that a small rock. He looked down, noting the same had happened to the other coins. Another illusion, then.

"Hah, thanks." Dipper rubbed his neck. "Truthfully though, I can't actually wrap my mind around it. Not really." He shook his head and smiled, looking up at the demon above. "It's kinda like trying to comprehend the fourth dimension, I think. Like, sure, we know _about_ it, but when I try to picture it..." Dipper made an unsure gesture. "Y'know?"

Bill raised his brow. "What are you talking about? Fourth dimension's easy!" He stepped off the edge of the statue, drifting down to hover in front of Dipper and clapping his hands together. He drew them apart, and between his palms appeared something dark and pulsating and full of corners. It flickered in his hands, shimmering like an oil slick, and a sharp stabbing pain drove behind Dipper's eyes at the sight. He looked away, screwing his eyes shut with a grimace.

Bill frowned. "What's your deal, kid? It's just a little polychoron!"

"A what?" Dipper shook his head. "Sorry, sorry, it's just- looking at it _reall_ y messed with my head, I think."

Bill rolled his eye, compressing the shape back into non-existence. "Right," he muttered. "You wads of flesh can't even see all the colors. Don't know why I thought you'd be able to handle this." He put his hands on his hips. "You know, there's a species of shrimp that have a better color spectrum than you guys? Think about that. You're inferior to a crustacean."

"My eyes may not be the best, but at least I have two of em."

Bill reeled back, feigning shock. "Pine Tree! Honestly, I'm surprised with you. You should know me better by now!" He split himself in half, then again, dividing into countless small copies of himself in the space of a few seconds. The swarm clamoured around Dipper, and when they spoke it was with a creepy disjointed unison. "I've got more eyes than you could imagine!" he said with a playful crinkle in his bounty of eye _s_. Dipper laughed, butterflies fluttering in the warmth of his chest.

"Of course. How could I forget?" he said with a smile. "'Eyes in many places', right?" He gazed at the Bills with an affection he didn't realize he was holding, and they formed back into one.

"Right, kid! Eyes everywhere, even here! Oh boy, did I have tons of eyes around this place back in the day," he said with the nostalgia of an old man.

Dipper blinked, somewhat curious, but before he could ask for any kind of clarification, Bill continued. "This whole cathedral is a waste of stone and metal. It's basically a glorified dollhouse for weak-minded idiots to play make-believe. Poseidon and those other guys were a joke. The only real god in this place was me!"

"You?" Dipper raised an eyebrow, "What business did you have in Atlantis?"

"Kid, where there's humans, there's idiots, and where there's idiots, there's deals to be made! There was this-" he hesitated, realizing his story was about to go to an undesirable place, "...uh, kid."

For a fraction of a second, something unreadable flashed across Bill's face, but before Dipper could catch it it was gone. "Yeah, I had a ton of people worshipping me! A _cult following_ , if you will!"

"And the kid? Was he one of them?"

Bill gave him an uncomfortable glance. "What kid?"

"You said there was a kid."

"No I didn't."

"You did!" Dipper insisted. "You said it literally ten seconds ago!"

"Pfft," Bill scoffed. "You've just got water in your ears. Come on, I'll show you one of my shrines!"

In an instant, Bill's fingers were back around his wrist, pulling him through the cool water at a speed Dipper wasn't exactly comfortable with. Thankfully, they made it out of the cathedral and into the shattered window of a nearby building with minimal injury.

"Hang on." Still holding Dipper's wrist, Bill reached down with his other hand and shooed a layer of glowing lichen from the stone floor, revealing a battered hatch built long ago from a now-rusted metal. The handle had long since corroded away, so Bill slipped his fingers in the seam between stone and metal and levered the door open with a low creak that rumbled in Dipper's eardrums.

With Bill's bright influence, the plankton that lined the dark passageway began to wake, bathing a set of steps in its pale glow. Dipper peered in, but he couldn't see the bottom for the inky blackness it stretched into. He glanced at Bill, uneasy, but Bill just smiled back. "Ta da!"

The pair descended the limestone stairs beyond the hatch into the secret shrine room, Bill's warm hand guiding Dipper swiftly through the water. They came to a rest at the bottom of the staircase, and Bill released the other's hand. The bioluminescent phytoplankton flowed into the room behind them, creeping along the walls and structures to illuminate their surroundings. Each surface glittered black and green with centuries of algae thriving in the dark damp.

"Yeesh, this place is _real_ old. I haven't been here in ages!" Bill said, gliding effortlessly around the sunken room to examine the water damage. He came to a stop in front of a less giant but still huge statue of himself, painted in the same living green as everything else in the vicinity. Bill recoiled and screwed his eye shut throwing a hand out at the statue like it had personally offended him. "Ugh, _that_ phase. Disgusting." Dipper wasn't sure what he was talking about.

"Huh?"

"I mean just look at that hideous headwear!" Bill admonished. Dipper raised an eyebrow and inspected the shimmering statue, stepping forward to get a closer look. He honestly couldn't tell the difference.

"I don't…" he trailed off, uncertain. Bill huffed an aggravated sigh and drifted over to hover right beside the statue, like a mirror image.

It took Dipper almost a minute and a half to notice that, on the statue, the brim was ever so slightly wider and the body of the hat was a few inches shorter. He gave Bill a ridiculously incredulous look. Bill threw his small black arms up. "Abominable!"

Dipper laughed, "It's not like you can tell!" He reached up to wipe away the grime from statue Bill's face, "It's hardly noticeable." He cleared away the algae off the eye and bowtie and continued to brush the figure until it was mostly clean, wiping off the arms and ornaments and sides.

A soft sigh came from behind.

Dipper turned to see Bill blushing slightly at his core, staring at him. Dipper cocked his head and raised a brow.

"You good?"

Bill blinked and said nothing. After a moment Dipper turned back to continue clearing away the algae off Bill's shrine to get a better view of it. Bill's eyes fixed keenly on the other's hand as it glided down the statue's hypotenuse, and the way time almost seemed slowed by the water's resistance made the way Dipper's thumb brushed the corners of the statue hypnotic. Bill's eyelid lowered, half-mast.

When Dipper had brushed off most of the statue, he stepped back to admire it in its former glory before stepping forward again to wipe off the petrified wooden tablet that bore old inscriptions. He skimmed over the engraved letters and quickly picked up that it was in Latin.

"Oh Bill, your summoning ritual is written here," he thought out loud.

"Beneath a statue of me?" Bill gasped, sarcastically pressing his hands to his 'cheeks', "You're kidding! That's so out of place! I have _no idea why that would be there_!"

"Shut up!" Dipper laughed, glancing back at Bill with a wide smile. He turned back and read aloud to himself. "Triangulum entangulum..." the words were familiar and easy on his tongue, reminiscent of summonings past and having spent years repeating these very words. He read through the entire summon without effect - because Bill was right there - and continued on, absentmindedly, to the more unfamiliar Latin.

Dipper had spent a few years learning Latin in his free time, but he was by no means fluent. He could likely hold an everyday conversation with a Latin-speaker but when it came to demonic rituals and archaic grammar and terminology with alternate spellings and meanings, a few things were still out of his reach. It was similar in a way to reading Shakespearean works without being a native English speaker. Dipper read on, feeling the words in his mouth as he planned to add them to his vocabulary later. He read in a low voice to himself so he could hear the words as he spoke them. He reached three quarters of the way through the scripture before noticing a familiar set of words encrypted at the very bottom of the tablet and froze.

And from behind him, he heard a low groan.

"Pine Tree..." Bill rasped, his hands dancing along his edges and vertices. His words died in his arousal.

Dipper felt his throat close up and his heart rate skyrocket. His shoulders tensed and began to tingle. His eyes widened and he curled his fingers painfully tight around the podium.

Then Bill found his words and said in a hoarse plea, "Keep going."

Dipper released the podium and spun around, pressing his back against it and staring wide-eyed at Bill, horror painting his face.

"Bill, I-" he wracked his brains for words but it was really hard to think when Bill was right there in front of him, _touching himself_. "This isn't-! We can't-!" he spluttered, "I-I didn't mean-"

"Ah. Sorry, kid, I just..." Bill took a breath and steadied himself, "got caught up in the moment. Forget that ever happened," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "Let's just change the subject."

Bill snapped his fingers and in the blink of an eye, the pair of them had completely left Atlantis and were now suddenly in outer-freaking-space.

Dipper's mind stumbled at the abrupt change of scenery. The absence of the strange sensation of water rushing through his gills- his _gills!_ Dipper's hands snapped up to his throat, but his fingertips met only seamless skin.

Dipper flailed and panicked, holding his breath for fear he wouldn't be able to breathe in space.

Bill rolled his eye. "Kid, _look_." He took hold of Dipper's chin and turned his head, forcing him to look into the distance. Dipper paused, his protest dying in his throat. In front of them, hundreds of light years away and yet still so massive that it seemed to stretch on for miles, was something bright and shimmering that Dipper immediately recognised as a quasar.

"Oh. Oh, my god." Dipper shielded his eyes with his arm. The pair lowered themselves to rest on an asteroid beneath them, sitting with their legs hanging over the side.

"Yeah." Bill raised his brow, proud of himself. He snapped his fingers and a pair of snazzy sunglasses appeared over Dipper's eyes.

"Wow," he said in an amazed breath, finally able to look directly at it, "It's beautiful. Is that- where are we? The nearest quasar to earth is..." Dipper paused, thinking. "At least a couple million light years away!"

"Five hundred and eighty one million, to be exact! I saved us the trip though." Bill laughed, "Welcome to the galaxy 'Markarian two-thirty-one'! Take a good look, kid, in about a thousand years this place is gonna be bulldozed to make way for a giant minigolf course. Shooting Star would love it!"

"This is incredible. I can't believe I'm seeing this with my own eyes."

"Yeah, I drop in here every now and then," Bill bragged, smugly adjusting his bowtie. "Gives it a real kick to get it straight from the source!"

Dipper frowned. "Gives what a real kick?"

With a flamboyant flick of his wrist, Bill produced a black plastic thermos. He unscrewed the lid and tilted the mouth towards the quasar. For a few, confusing seconds, nothing happened, but then before Dipper's very eyes, light seemed to bend towards it, filtering sluggishly and then picking up speed as it was sucked into the little plastic bottle.

After another minute, Bill sharply tilted the thermos backward, cutting off the whirlpool of light.

"What, uh, what was that?" Dipper asked. Bill swirled the little thermos.

"Good stuff, that's what!" he replied. Dipper waited for a real answer. In the back of his mind, a weak connection was made to the sunlight fairies he and Bill had bullied way back when. _Didn't they owe him money?_

Dipper's thoughts came to a stop when a black, serpentine tongue wriggled out from between Bill's eyeball and his lower lid, dipping inside the thermos and pulled back, its tip stained with a brilliant shimmering blue. The tongue rolled itself back up like a carpet, disappearing back into the socket, and Bill blinked his eye with a sound off-puttingly close to that of lips smacking.

"Oh, yeah," he hummed in approval, "this is _premium_."

Dipper blinked, his mind lagging back to a few seconds ago. Specifically, Bill's tongue. He hadn't seen that since he was twelve, and there'd actually been a few more hanging out of the bright red eldritch horror Bill had briefly been. It hadn't occurred to him that Bill's normal form would have one, too.

Bill tilted to thermos towards him. "Want a sip?"

Dipper got only a brief look inside - it appeared to be some kind of swirling vortex - before Bill pulled it away. "Wait, no, it might kill ya!" He cackled, compressing the black plastic between his palms until it no longer existed. "Boy, that could've been embarrassing! If you want any, you gotta brew it first, okay? Raw energy tea can really mess a mortal up. Y'know, in the lethal way!" On his fingers remained a shimmering smear of the same stuff Dipper had seen staining his tongue. Bill inspected it, his tongue once more rolling out to clean it off. It dipped between his fingers, curled around them, black on black as the colour was licked away. The sight was certainly, uh, appealing. He shifted his eyes, glancing away and then back at Bill. He had to find something else to bring up. He looked back out to the brilliant quasar.

"It's kinda like that time you showed me the phoenix reincarnation, isn't it?" Dipper chuckled awkwardly and shoved his hands in his pockets. He bit the inside of his cheek as a dusting of red fell over his face.

Bill retracted his tongue (much to Dipper's relief and slight disappointment) and extended an arm around the other's shoulder, pulling him into his side.

"Yeah, Pines, it kinda is." He gave Dipper a sly gaze, "Pretty _romantic_ , huh?"

Dipper's blush deepened.

Bill leaned more into Dipper's side and gently placed his small hand on Dipper's thigh. The sudden contact surprised him. His heart fluttered in his chest. His eyes darted down and then slowly widened when the demon's hand began moving in slow, caressing strokes. The moment quickly went from romantic to uncomfortable. Not necessarily in a _bad way_ , but…

"Uh, Bill?" Dipper started, but Bill continued staring at the quasar. His hand continued its movements, drawing closer to his hips with each stroke. Dipper bit his lip, suddenly cursing his gender. He anxiously crossed his legs, also happening to nudge Bill's hand off. When Bill looked up at him, he turned his head away, embarrassed. Hopefully he wouldn't notice.

And oh, he did. But he wouldn't let Dipper know that. He simply put his hands in his own lap and snuggled into Dipper's side. The young man breathed a sigh of relief, but he couldn't completely relax. The… problem was still there.

The rest of the date went pretty smoothly. Dipper tried his best to pay attention to Bill's long, winding spiels about space and whatnot, but despite his efforts, his mind was fixed on the memory of the demon's hand on his leg. He ended up mostly nodding and offering quiet "huh"s and "wow"s when it seemed necessary. What little attention that wasn't directed towards Dipper's recursive musings on Bill's advances was reserved for the sight in front of him. The massive quasar shone bright, almost blindingly so, even through his sunglasses. It reminded him of the time Mabel had spilled a gallon of glitter paint over the kitchen table and how the afternoon sun rays through the window hit it; a thousand shifting points of light, each as eye-catching as the others. She would've loved to see this. It was right up her alley, color wise. A maelstrom of gorgeous hues of pink and purple and sunset orange, all gathering around a beam of dazzling blue.

Dipper started as something nudged his side. He looked over at Bill, who was watching him expectantly, as if waiting for an answer.

"Well?"

Dipper blinked. "Um. Well what?"

Bill gave a longsuffering sigh. "You know, if you're gonna tune out, least you could do is warn a guy."

"Sorry," Dipper said with a sheepish grimace. "I didn't mean to zone out like that. It's been a long day. I think." He checked his watch, but didn't take it in. "I'm just kinda starting to wear out." He pushed the sunglasses up, rubbing at his tired eyes. A yawn bubbled up in his chest. "Believe me, this is incredible, but-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Humans and their limited battery life." Bill got to his feet, jumped up, and was airborne again. "Well, you saw what we came here to see, so I guess there's no point in sticking around any longer. Plus, I'd kinda rather you slept. Insomniacs really skeeve me out, y'know?" he made a disgusted face and shriveled his body like a rotten fruit for dramatic effect.

Dipper huffed a breath of laughter through his nose. "I know." He tilted his head with a soft sigh, trying to get one last good mental snapshot of the wondrous sight before they left it behind.

Bill unzipped a portal from thin air and they both stepped through onto Dipper's front doorstep. He closed it behind them again.

Dipper rubbed his arm, "I had a really nice time tonight." Bill proudly straightened his bowtie.

"I know, I'm great and a delight to be around!" he said jubilantly, making Dipper smile and giggle.

"Sure are." He stretched his arms upward, feeling tension leave his back muscles, then turned the knob. "Man I'm beat," he groaned, leaving the door open for Bill to wander in behind him. Bill's magic force shut it behind him when he was inside. Dipper collapsed backwards onto the sitting room sofa, relishing the softness of the cushions and pillows hitting his back. He sighed in contentment. "I'll never move from this spot!"

Bill floated over to him and hovered just above.

"Wouldn't you rather sleep in one of your little human nests?"

"The couch is fine tonight. 'Sides, I'd rather not wake the wife up," he mumbled from where his face was smushed into a pillow, half asleep already. "Could use a blanket though."

He peeked out when a surprise warmth settled over him, wriggling into comfort atop his torso. Bill gazed at him with a half-mast eye. In an almost loving way, he began caressing his tiny dark hands over Dipper's chest. Body worship. Dipper relaxed into his touch, head rolled back, adoring the attention he was receiving. And as if by instinct, his hands moved up to Bill's hips to caress him the same way. The strokes to his sides sent sparks of pleasure to Bill's core. He huffed.

On hyper alert since about a half-hour earlier when Bill's hand rubbed against his thigh, Dipper's body took notice. And reacted. He bit his bottom lip, head light and mind hazy from sleep deprivation, and gazed back at Bill.

This time he didn't try to hide it.

His thumbs glossed down to Bill's corners and pinched them gently. Bill's body jerked and he gasped, a slight blush befalling him.

In return, his hands dipped under the hem of the other's shirt and snaked their way up, smoothing along Dipper's chilled skin to flick his thumbs against the man's nipples. Dipper gave a light moan and turned his head sideways into the pillow. He sucked in a breath and exhaled slowly, his skin prickling. Bill felt the aroused pressure urge against his bottom edge. He shuddered and shifted slightly, lowkey rolling himself against it. Another breathy sigh was drawn from Dipper's throat.

Bill then adjusted himself again so that he was laying flat across his companion and Dipper was massaging his bottom two corners effortlessly. He settled, dotting warm pressures across Dipper's belly every now and then as if to place kisses on him without a mouth. His hands journeyed down the other's sides again, taking in the lithe frame before him. It was wonderful, the moment they shared before drifting off into a peaceful slumber - even Bill. Tangled in warm embrace.


End file.
